BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids fatigue

So we're at the big Xmas Eve gathering with DH's family, and a relative announces that she is pregnant again. She just had a baby, which is 3 MONTHS old. I know she is happy - she got married at 40, they had fertility issues before the first preg., etc. But I just got done sending gifts for the first baby! Not to mention two other cousins are currently preg. (also due next summer).

So now I have to plaster the smile back on my face and gear up for the baby boom. I know this is bound to happen - his family is large. But I have fatigue - how many times must I say "congratulations", buy baby gifts, shower gifts, go to showers, endure countless hours of pregnancy talk, etc.? Anyone else deal with this? Any tips for staying sane? (besides drinking myself into a coma every time I'm around them - hey, it works) <img src="/images/graemlins/beamedup.gif" alt="" />

Hey Tbunny!

I've been there/done that with the whole pregnancy/baby shower thing with my friends. A lot of my friends have kids now, but thankfully, they are getting older, and I'm hoping to be done with the whole cycle of buying/attending baby showers, hearing baby talk, etc.

This may sound bad, but a good friend I'd lost touch with a couple of years ago sent me a Christmas card. I knew she'd gotten married, but didn't know she'd had a son, who's now a year old. I'm looking forward to getting back in touch with my friend, but thankful to have missed the baby shower/new baby thing! I really do like this friend and was glad to hear from her, but am hoping since her son's over a year old, we'll be able to talk about other stuff. Does that sound terrible?

Here at work, we've had a couple of women give birth this year, and there were showers for them. I went because I didnt' want to cause an ill feelings between myself and these people; I felt like it was the politically correct thing to do. But I'm hoping that my current friends aren't planning to have any more!

Happy New Year!

Karen

As for tips....I just smile and nod, and pretend I'm doing something I like, such as reading a good book before a cozy fire, or am somewhere else, like the highlands of Scotland.

It's so nice to have a place to come and vent! Going to baby showers and looking at little outfits does nothing for me...it's like, whopee, a little onesie that they'll wear maybe six weeks? I sound terrible, but it's as interesting to me as looking at a paper clip collection!

I like the idea of going someplace in my head - yes, someplace that makes me smile (so it's not fake). And I don't think it's terrible to say you didn't mind missing the new baby stage with your friend. It's probably the very reason you are actually happy to hear from her now!

I'm glad to know I'm not alone. After I posted, I thought "boy, that was snarky!" It's not that I don't like these women (I"m really close to one of them), and I'm happy for them because they are really happy about their news. But it's just the cycle of baby-centered everything that consumes them/the family for an entire year. I'm just worn out from saying "that's so wonderful" over and over again. And as much as I love my one friend, every time I talk to her (which isn't often any more), I feel obligated to throw in a "she's so adorable" or risk hurt feelings or offense that I'm not interested in her baby.

Confession -- I ditched a baby shower to attend a friend's music store opening. I ended up winning a very nice instrument cable in a drawing. What a wonderful alternative to having the he11 bingoed out of me.

I hate baby showers, I hate all showers. I have a kid and I tried to ditch my own shower. I don't go, period. If it is a good friend I will make a date with mom-to-be to get a coffee or nails done before baby comes (or make her do it after without baby). If she can't and I feel like buying a gift, I find something she needs, not baby (they get so much [censored]!)

Well, try to make some shower gifts and mail them too. Then you will be less involved and less fatigued!