BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What Childfree Means to Me

I was thinking today of all the things I'm going to be able to accomplish in my life because I do not have children. A couple of those are:

1. Worldwide Travel and eventually living part-time in another country.

2. Once I pay off my bills, down-scaling and working less or changing occupations altogether because I won't need as much money to live on.

3. Again, once I pay down debt, if I am dissatisfied, I can leave a job that I hate or that does not satisfy me. Additionally, I am much more comfortable with taking chances with various types of employment that I would not feel comfortable doing if I had kids. I would have to be ultra-stable as it is very expensive to live here in Northern California and I would be stuck at my high paying job, which I absolutely hate!

4. Enough time to work on my spiritual practies (Meditation, chanting, reading spiritual literature), which takes a couple of hours per day. In essence, spend time nourishing my soul.

5. Invest in all manner of hobbies.

6. Continue obtaining advanced degrees.

7. A neat, quiet homelife, free of stress.

So, just wondering, what being Childfree mean to you?

Wow, you summed up nicely a lot of the reasons why I don't want children.

I'm looking forward to hopefully retiring at a reasonably young age.

Being able to focus on hobbies, interests, travelling instead of chaffeuring kids around.

Never having to go through a pregnancy (blech!)

Being able to enjoy a shower without kids banging on the door!

Karen: Enjoying the shower reason is particulary appealing!!! LOL! <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue2.gif" alt="" />

Getting dressed without kids barging in on you. Our nieces did this to me once - didn't even think to lock the bedroom door - after my shower, I was getting dressed and they came in to visit our foster bunny. Uhm, that's all fine, but can I put some clothes on first?? YIKES! I'm SO not okay with that!

I also like being able to get dressed without little ones barging in.

A friend of mine who has a daughter once said she couldn't even go to the bathroom with considering her daughter's needs first, how she couldn't even talk on the telephone without her daughter screaming for attention. I definitely enjoy my nice, quiet house! I want to be the only one making a racket! <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

To me it means:

Listening to my sister struggle with her 3 young kids, the screaming, fighting, crying, etc and knowing that will never be my burden to bear. As a matter of fact I get downright cheerful when I hear the cacophony of unrest that goes on in that house.

Being able to stay home, work on my degree and not have to worry about getting a job, or whether or not we'll be able to pay bills, buy groceries, put gas in the cars.

Knowing we'll be able to retire relatively young and live the life we've dreamed of.

Never stepping on a rougue lego in the middle of the night.

Never having to buy diapers, wipe a [censored] smeared [censored], clean snot off a face or argue with a teenager about any number of things (the way I did with my parents growing up).

Time and energy to devote to my art and my spiritual growth.

Having a relatively stress free life and enjoying every minute of it.

Previous posts have really hit on most of the things that childfree means to me, so I won't repeat them here.

At a conceptual/feeling level, here's what it means to me:

Because I'm childfree, I can BREATHE.

(Because when I was trying to get pregnant, I felt suffocated - mentally, physically, emotionally...)

What's up with kids barging through closed doors? My brother and I learned from a very early age to respect the closed door and knock and be given permission to enter. We DIDN'T just barge in, our parents taught us to respect privacy. Seems now kids don't have any limits and see their parents in all stages of nudity and undress, doesn't seem healthy to me. Privacy is important as well as modesty.

Of course, my dogs have NEVER learned to knock! LOL! But they haven't figured out how to open a completely closed door, either!

Cindy

I was taught the same thing growing up. My mother always told me, "A closed door means, STAY OUT!!!!!" I never barged in. I would knock or get my head knocked off. LOL

Autonomy -- I like to be able to do what I want when I want without excessive planning.

Money -- We do fine with the money we make as a twosome. Adding a child would strain us immensely.

Sex -- It's whenever we want and we don't have to worry about traumatizing anyone or being rudely interrupted.

Neighborhood -- We enjoy our quirky neighborhood. The school district is horrendous, though. We'd either have to deal with private schooling or move to beigeland.

Quiet -- I don't like loud, high-pitched noises.

Sanity -- I like having some downtime and get irritable when I feel like every minute of my day is accounted for. Parents seem to go and go and go... Yuck.

My body -- I enjoy the shape I'm in and that everything is still in the same location it was post-puberty. Also, I can laugh all day long without a single stray drop of pee.

Self-improvement -- I get to take classes, read books and try to make myself a better person / artist.

I could probably go on forever.