I dont want to step on toes with this--cause I know worry about being alone is not reason enough to have a kid, but I do have some worries about it. I have a coworker who i am friends with who is in her 60s. She travels a lot and has hobbies, but seems lonely: she has told me she is and she often emails calls me and others from work and seems desperate for a conversation at work. She had a great marriage and really loved her husband who died a several years ago, she still speaks of him a lot. She has had sleeping problems since he died. She had no kids by choice and is happy with that choice as it afforded her time to travel. She has sort of encouraged me not to have kids, Im undecided. She also told me though she feels that in a way her brother who had kids "had a richer life" because he had experiences and memories she did not have. She says she does not regret not having kids though. I know worry about loneliness is a foolish reason to have kids, but I do wonder what I would do if my husband died and we never had kids. I have no brothers and sisters and am not close to cousins or anything. My husband family is also small and we are not close to anyone but his parents. I have friends but most of my close friends live far away and are occupied with their own family. I know companionship is not a reason not to hve kids, and kids are guaranteed to be your companions, but if my husband were to die and we had no kids Id be left with no family. This scares me a little.
Your comments hit home with me. After many frustrating years of meeting the "wrong one", I have really enjoyed the caring, loving relationship I have had with my girlfriend for the last 18 months. If I were to suddenly find myself alone, that would scare me too. My neighbor's husband died suddenly 6 years ago. She has had a difficult time since then coping with her husband's death. She too had spent many years meeting the wrong one before she met her husband at age 38. They were together for 10 years before his death. They had no kids.
I have a cousin who will be 83 this year. His wife died 14 years ago. He had a difficult time the first couple years he was a widower, but in the time since has adjusted well. Two of his sons live in the same city (Toronto, Canada). He is not at all dependent on his kids. He has a circle of friends and many activities and hobbies which include gardening in the summer, weekly card games, walking his dog every day, reading and travel. He is a great example of someone who lives alone but is not lonely.
In conclusion Tubby, I hope that my girlfriend and I both live to 120. But if that is not our fate, I would hope that either one of us could go on living like my cousin has.
Mike
