BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Pregnancy Miscarried and still hurting

Hi. i had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and i am still in so much pain... the doctors can't find anything wrong though.
thats only the physical pain. i feel so empty inside and hollow. i felt such a strong connection to this baby and so did my fiance. and everywhere i go i see all these babies and i just feel so sad. my fiance doesn't seem so upset anymore, just sad cause i am hurting and he is worried. but i just want it all to stop so i can go on with my life. i can't work right now because of the pain i keep having. which is stressing me out even more, and to make things even worse a woman with a new born was in the mall that i was at and we were talking and when i touched her baby's head and told her how much i love babies she said to me "you will never know a mothers love until you have a child..." i started crying right there. is there anyway to stop this hurting? sorry to bother anyone, i just kinda need some friends that know how i feel. thank you so much for taking the time to read this

I had a miscarriage months ago and I still can't get over it. It is the worst pain I have ever been through. With time it gets a little better but not really. I am so sorry for your loss. I remember being at work and this woman brought her baby in and I heard it crying and I just broke down. I still get like that. It is hard but with time you move on but you never forget. That pain is there for a long time. I am not sure when it lessens. Mine is still very real and hurts so bad. I hope this helps but I am sure it wont. Just try to think of the positive things you have in your life right now. I know that helped me. I am very sorry this has happened to you. Ashley

My heart goes out to both of you! Keep talking about it. Maybe that sounds crazy but talking does help. You will never forget, but do you really want to? You have to move on, WHEN you are ready - not before. Let yourself grieve.

What I'd really like to say to Shara is that is very normal that your fiance doesn't seem so upset. Pregnancy is not nearly so "real" to men. For some men it isn't real until the baby is born and they can see it. They just don't have that connection that women do. He can't help it - it's just the way it is.

Good luck to both of you!
Claudine Crews

thank you so much to Ashley and Claudine.... i'm getting a bit better and not crying all the time... its getting better that way but the same thing happens to me when the babies cry... my fiance and i talk all the time and he knows now to keep our minds off it, and we will go out and have fun dancing or just a nice dinner to talk.... he knows anything to distract us is good and we talk about our loss other times.... things are even stronger between us now tho... its awesome and even though i have never been more hurt and upset i've also never been more happy.... and i thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me in my time of need... and i am sure there are going to be more little outbursts but i am feeling a lot better at this very moment... the physical pain however is not going away... i'm worried... and a little scared to go to the doctor... i don't like going to them, ever since the doctor in the hospital saw me.... if it hadn't been for him taking his time and doddling, there may have been something they could have done to save my baby. then when he examined me he hurt me very badly, and after he tossed me a napkin and told me to "clean myself up" it was just so unkind and didn't seem sympathetic at all... and now they all scare me. but do you think its natural to be in this much pain even one month after?

Shara