BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids She is leaving me after 7 years...

Hey everyone. I need a little help here. My girlfriend of 7 years, broke up with me 2 days ago, but we are still living together. We have a house and a ton of debt to work out. I just want to "run screaming". But, I also want to do the right thing. It would ruin her if I just left. I love her with every fiber if my being and would not want to hurt her. "I JUST CAN'T BREATH THROUGH THE PAIN". Nobody cheated. She just doesn't love me like she used to. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks

Gosh, this is hard, so hard, but so hard....
It sounds puerile and trivial to say that if you Love her the best you can do for her is to let her go.... But it's true...
However, she deserves to know that you do not let go willingly....That it is painful, and that you have feelings for her that cannot simply be erased, forgotten and discarded....She must expectand understand that you will undoubtledly be travelling a roller-coaster of emotion for a while yet.

Try to separate the Practical from the Emotional...do not confuse and merge the two, neither resort to using one to underpin or evaluate the other....

Do not keep yourself to yourself, but seek the help of those close to you to help carry the burden. It will become lighter.

Hard but true to realise and come to terms with, is the Truth that many have trodden this path before you. It is a familiar one, believe me....

Please know, dark and painful as things currently are, one thing is undeniable:

This too, shall pass......

I thought that if it ever happened, I would be ok. After all, I've been practicing my whole life...

I know I need to keep my emotions inside until we complete the seporation. But I can't share this with my family or friends. I think they would push all my emotional buttons and I would do the "wrong thing".(what ever that turns out to be) Thanks for you words of wisdom.

Not much to add except find someone trustworthy that you can talk to. It will help you work through it all. Not to bash your ex but to let you find your own way through a very painful experience. Good luck.

I'd recommend seeing a professional.... also, try writing a letter to her, expressing all your anger/emotions etc. Once you are finished writing, destroy the letter. It will be a release to you to be able to express yourself. Best wishes.

I have been there before and it is very painful. I let the other person go but we remained friends once we got past the all the hurt. If you ever want to talk I am a good listener. Peace be with you

Thank all of you for your wonderful support. In my head, I know what will come, in my heart, I can't believe it. She has worked this all out and is ready to go on. I have only begun to catch my breath. She is out with friends from work, I am sitting here on line seeking... I don't know what I'm seeking. Alexandra, your words are so eloquent and hard hitting. They helped my to release sooo much emotion. Thank you sooo much.

OK, I feel I've dated enough in my life. I've gone through years of depression, 2 marriages and fortunately never had kids. I have watched friends go through all kinds of stuff with that.

First - although it's tough breaking up, you will be able to find someone else in the future and can resume a normal life. Don't whip a dead horse if you don't have to. Learn to live by yourself first. It takes time and it hurts. It will make you stronger for the future. Trust me, you will need it.

Second - Never, never buy a house with someone you are not married to unless you have a good legal contract. Sell the home, part ways and start over.

Third - Be happy you don't have kids together. Kids are an extreme burden when you break up. Never, never have kids if you are not in a stable and legally binding relationship with someone. Kids require the care of an entire community not just two or even one person.

Fourth - Don't lean on your friends or strangers too much because they will get tired of your problems quickly and turn mean. Humans like to help out to the extent that it makes them feel helpful, but will start kicking you when they realize you are vulerable - don't cross the line. It's mostly up to you.

You have a lot of work to do. Get to it.