BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage Just looking for an opinion

Hello my name is Tara and I am 26 years old. I just experienced my first miscarriage yesterday, which was a huge shock for my husband and I because I didn't even know I was pregnant in the first place. I guess we are stuggling with the decision whether to tell our parents or not. We aren't ready to have kids and we weren't trying to have any either.

I would hate for them to find out through another source, but we are also worried that both our parents may have a hard time keeping this too themselves and spread the word to other family members. My husband and I are pretty private people but this just sems like something you would tell your parents. I really don't know what to do. My husband is leaving the ultimate decision up to me, but I really don't know what to do about it. Any advice from either those with opinions, or first-hand experience with this dilemna?

Hi Tara. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm MaryKay, age 38. I recently lost my first baby at 8 weeks.

Regarding your concern about your parents finding out from another source...who else might they hear it from if you haven't told anyone else?

If you think someone else might tell your parents, I would definitely talk to your parents first. You can ask them to please not spread this information to anyone else because you and your husband want to keep it private, and tell them that you are trusting them to respect your wish for privacy.

Unfortunately, you cannot prevent them from telling anyone but I hope they will respect your request.

Good luck with talking to your parents and again, I'm sorry about your baby.

MaryKay
P.S. Think of it this way...what would be worse, your parents finding out from someone else or the chance that your parents might tell other family members?

hey my name is mary i'm 13 and i was 11 weeks pregnant and i just found out friday that i had a miscarrage and my pernts and my boyfriend pernts both knew and everyone took it hard my mom and his mom have blobber jaws to and they told everyone in the family and their friends about it but if they found out anyother way they would have been really upset i think you should proble tell them

Thank you very much Mary and MaryKay for writing to me.

About a week ago I decided to tell my parents and in laws, and they ended up being very supportive and caring. They also have so far respected the fact that I am not ready to have a lot of people in the family know what happened.

It took me a few days after having the miscarriage to actually realize that I lost a baby. It has been a rough week and a half, but life goes on.

Thanks again for writing to me and I am very sorry for both of your loses and I wish you both the best of luck in the future.

Tara