BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Dreams Hosting a Birthday Party

The other night, I dreamed I was hosting a birthday party for my mother (with whom I have a really bad, practically non-existant relationship) and no one had come. She started complaining to me and telling me it was all my fault. While she's yelling @ me, I spied four $20 dollar bills ($80) on the ground and when I pick it up, she starts accusing me of stealing it. I tried to defend myself but she just grabs her rollator and walks off leaving me there w/my mouth gaping and cash in my hand.

I just don't get this one. Any help is appreciated.

I see this as you feel bad that the relationship is so poisonous between you, but don't know how to mend it. Even when you do something for your mum she turns it against you. Perhaps you need to stop trying so hard to please her?

Are you in her will, or in a position to make a profit from her in some way? Hey at least you are left holding the money!

As far as I'm aware, I would not benefit from her in any way shape or form as she has several thousand dollars in debt (mostly medical) and the only things of value she has will probably be sold for the debts.

I know I shouldn't try so hard to please her but I know she'll be dead before I'm 30. (She has Freidreich's Ataxia and she already has a rollator and will eventually need a wheelchair and than be bedbound before her heart or neuro system gives out on her completely) It's a weirdness.

I'm sad for you that this relationship is such a pill. We all want our moms to love us and for us to have a mom worthy of some love. That's made even more poignant when time is obviously short.
What struck me in your dream was that you had thrown this party and that no one had come. You were there, doing your part, but obviously no one else cared enough about your mom to show up. Is that likely true in real life? Does she have many friends? Do you have other sibs that are helping out? It may be that you are feeling all alone in this yourself- taking all of the abuse- feeling powerless to really help- etc. Does that ring any bells?

Most of my mother's social contact is through the internet. She has no RL friends anymore as she's managed to drive them all away. My baby brother still stands by her while I am apart from the rest of the family due to abuse but he has his own life as well and refuses to see me. The last sentence of your post does ring very true. Growing up, I took a lot of the abuse my mother hurled out, whether it was physical, verbal, mental, or emotional and than when my step-father came, I took the sexual abuse as well. To them, it's all my fault so there is very much a sense of being all alone.

Sounds like you have good reason to stay clear. Your mother has a sad story, but you've gone through enough here. Focus on the people that do care about you & respect you- sometimes that 'blood is thicker than water' stuff leads us into pain & stops us breaking up harmful relationships that we know we'd sever instantly were they with anyone else.

No kidding. I've been doing my best but hampered by the fact that she'll be dead before I'm 30 doesn't help me much. (She's got Freidreich's Ataxia and it's slowly breaking down her nervous system.)