BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Is divorce in the future?

When do you know when it isn't worth trying to save a marriage? I hate the fact of getting divorced but it seems that my husband has it in his mind that come January that is what is going to happen. I don't want to get divorced but i want to be happy. It seems that every day is a battle to get through without a fight of some sort. I want to go to counseling but I want him to go as well. He doesn't feel that a counselor will help us. I just need some kind of help to make our marriage a good one.

Maybe you can do a trial separation? You can always go see a counselor yourself, that might help with dealing with the daily battles. Why is he waiting 'til January?

this sounds kind of silly but January is the soonest we can sell the house. He said if I haven't become what he wants by then that we shouldn't be together. Couples, in my opinion, have to grow together and get used to one anothers differences. We have only been married for about 11 months I don't think that is near enough time to know wether or not it is going to work. But on the other hand are we just wasting time trying to stick it out? Back in the day when divorce wasn't acceptable people worked through their problems and ended up being together for the rest of their lives. Because they grew together and that is why so many of the people 70 and 75 years old are now celebrating thier 50th wedding anniversary because back when times were tough between them divorce wasn't acceptable. Why can't it be a little less acceptable?

Sorry for what you are going through...I highly suggest you get counseling on your own. I am sure there are other places also. There is so much that just you can do to change things....check it out. It absolutely made all the difference in the world to us. Good luck, if you think your marriage is worth saving, it probably is!

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He expects you to "become" this whole other person? Just for him? Because that's what he wants? Hello! Find a counselor quick.

Please read my article on how to know your marriage is over.

But, if he wants you to be different or else...I'd say the marriage is over!

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art35827.asp

He wants you to change. But nothing will satisfy him. he should also change?