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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498 |
[color:"orange"] If not 100% percent sure, get on the pill or use another form of birth control other than sterilization.
If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498 |
[color:"orange"] Yes, my broken bio clock is a blessing. I'm forever thankful for it. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />[/color]
If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479 |
I'm definitely all about getting sterilized if I ever get married so in case the ol' hormones do kick in at some point and I get the baby rabies, I can't do something stupid I'll regret later (or at least not as easily...it's too easy to just stop taking the pill one day, but I'd hope that by the time I could look into and schedule having a sterilization reversed, my senses would come back!). <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 36
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 36 |
Yes, we are fence sitters. I enjoy this site because i can test out the permanency of our decision (before the potential operation) in a safe place. I agree that we need to be 100% sure before we go ahead.
Thanks
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382 |
<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 5 |
Kind of a moot point, at 40 only 10% of a womans eggs are remaining and the quality of the eggs left isnt always the best, greater chances of down syndrome and the like. A minority of women have children at 40 and beyond.
A woman's fertility begins to decline at 27 and starts declineing rapidly at 35. So the panic should really be at like 33 or 34.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 742
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 742 |
Strictly biologically speaking, maybe. Except that preg. at 40+ DOES happen and 40-ish women still need to take precautions if they don't want that. To call it a moot point sounds like a false sense of security against unintended pregnancy and an attemp to invalidate the serious internal struggles that some women have in deciding to remain CF for life.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 91
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 91 |
I can completely relate to the BIG 4-0 panic. Like many people here, I knew from about the age of 12 that motherhood wasn't something that appealed to me. I never had any desire to have kids and fortunately I met & married a great guy who was fine either way about having/not having kids. We have a good life - lots of travel, time together, wonderful friends, fulfilling careers - and I never felt I was missing anything. However, when I was 37 I started to question my choice. It seemed like everyone around me was so excited about having babies and talked about how having kids was the best thing they had ever done. I really started to wonder if I was missing out on a great life experience. At one point I mentioned to my gynecolgist that even though I wasn't a "kid person" I was thinking that I should at least consider having a baby. She said to me, "You know, so many of my patients have babies because they think they should. It never works out well." Then I was talking to a family friend who told me that she had kids because she thought she should & it was expected of her, and if she had to do it over again she wouldn't have had them. Eventually I came to the realization that in our child-obsessed culture it's such a taboo to admit that having children isn't the most fulfilling thing you've ever done, that we rarely hear the voices of people who regret having them. I also came to the conclusion that no matter what choices we make in life, we will always sacrifice something. All we can do is make the choices that best reflect our true nature - in my case it was not having a baby. Also, I realized that pregnancy and raising a child are two separate things. One can always adopt a child, volunteer as a "big sister, become a mentor etc.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 41
Newbie
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 41 |
I can completely relate to the BIG 4-0 panic. Like many people here, I knew from about the age of 12 that motherhood wasn't something that appealed to me. I never had any desire to have kids and fortunately I met & married a great guy who was fine either way about having/not having kids. We have a good life - lots of travel, time together, wonderful friends, fulfilling careers - and I never felt I was missing anything. However, when I was 37 I started to question my choice. It seemed like everyone around me was so excited about having babies and talked about how having kids was the best thing they had ever done. I really started to wonder if I was missing out on a great life experience. At one point I mentioned to my gynecolgist that even though I wasn't a "kid person" I was thinking that I should at least consider having a baby. She said to me, "You know, so many of my patients have babies because they think they should. It never works out well." Then I was talking to a family friend who told me that she had kids because she thought she should & it was expected of her, and if she had to do it over again she wouldn't have had them. Eventually I came to the realization that in our child-obsessed culture it's such a taboo to admit that having children isn't the most fulfilling thing you've ever done, that we rarely hear the voices of people who regret having them. I also came to the conclusion that no matter what choices we make in life, we will always sacrifice something. All we can do is make the choices that best reflect our true nature - in my case it was not having a baby. Also, I realized that pregnancy and raising a child are two separate things. One can always adopt a child, volunteer as a "big sister, become a mentor etc. Thanks greenblue for that ELOQUENT commentary... you really hit on a lot of things that I can relate to. The 40 year mark for me was especially meaningful. I was not afraid of turning 40 but it just seemed that being CF was 'more real' to me than it was when I was in my 30's. I am sure the chances of pregnancy do decrease but then again, my nana had my mom when she was 45!!! <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks so much to all you thoughtful and insightful posters! It's great to get others' input!
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 36
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 36 |
Hi freespirit, I am 27 and my SO is 23.
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