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I was going out with this guy for just over six years.

Back in late June we broke up, got back together that night, broke up 2 days later and got back together the next morning. These break-up's pretty much came out of left field for me, he broke it off both times. After that things were going pretty well. We celebrated our anniversary without much ado and I thought things were good. When I asked him what he thought he said he was happy with the way things were going, he loved me, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then the next week he broke up with me again. This time it was also sort of out of left field, he was upset with me over something very little and silly which in no way would have instigated him leaving me. He told me he "isn't himself around me" and never really gave me a FULL explanation as to why he left me.

This was abuot 5 weeks ago and we are still not together. I feel like a little more of me dies every day. Since we have broken up I have realized that there are some friends that I just cannot trust (we have pretty much all the same friends) because they will repeat everything I say to him. About a week after we broke up I ended up in the hospital. He came to see me and said "don't think you are the only one hurting, I still love you, I miss you..." those sort of things. When we were talking I could see that part of him wanted to get back together with me but there was something stopping him. He said he has a lot going on right now, more than I know. He said that maybe in a few weeks we will get back together.

I didn't call him for a couple of days (8) because I wanted to give him the ooportunity to miss me. Well he got in contact with me and we talked and he was upset that I hadn't called. I told him I was just trying to respect him and give him his space.

We have hung out a couple of times with mutual friends and each time it is harder to see him. I love him with all of my heart and soul and I am feeling so abandoned and alone. How can you turn your back on 6 years? I know he has a lot going on right now and I can tell how stressed he is and he seems depressed too.

I just don't know how to handle this.
He was my first everything and the only one I want to share my life with. People tell me to move on and forget about him, but I can't. I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH. I want him back! I just don't know what to do anymore. He is all I think about, all I dream about. I don't know what to do.

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Bless your heart! I know it sucks. There is nothing in the whoole wide world that hurts more than a broken heart. You got the right idea about not calling him the worst thing you could ever ever do is sitting around waiting on him and him knowing it. Let it play itself through and if it's meant to be it will be. Time is the only cure for a broken heart. I hope everything works out or you.

I feel for you also. Believe me in the long run it will not work out because he will always keep breaking your heart. He will not be completely open with you and just says the words you want to here. Move On.

Why not talk to him about how you feel?

I just keep praying that it is meant to be, I love him so much and I have never known this type of pain even existed. When we talk sometimes he talks to me as if we are still together, just normal conversations like we have always had. I wish I could tell him how I am feeling, but there is something in me stopping me, I am afraid that I will only push him further away. I just keep thinking of all of the plans we made and all of the promises he made to me. It hurts to know he broke the biggest promise he ever made to me- he promised me 6 1/2 years ago to never break my heart and he has. He turned his back on me and walked away and that hurts so much. I feel incredibly abandoned and alone. I know they say God never gives you more than you can handle, but what did I do to deserve all of this? Why am I being punished?

Dear Girl In Love,

{{{{{Hugs}}}}

Sounds to me like he is playing head games with you. I would walk away as hard as it may seem. I think you are smart to stay away. Surround yourself with other things to do to occupy your time. Be with family and friends who love you and won't pass judgement. Be STRONG Girl!! I am having relationship issues myself, but with a long time friend and I know this is hard. Sometime life throws us curve balls...

Summer

I am learning that I am surrounded by people, "friends," I thought I could trust, but apparently I was wrong. I just don't know what to think or feel anymore, everything is SO confusing. I don't know which way to turn.

I try not to think about him, I try to keep myself busy, but it just doesn't work. He is all I can think about. I feel completely betrayed. How do you walk away after six years? I REALLY want to sit him down, face to face and talk about what is going on between us. I need to know if there is a future for us. I can't move on until I know for sure. I just can't focus on anything anymore. I feel that I have the right to know. I want him back more than the air I breathe, and he knows this, but if he plans on throwing away the best thing that ever happened to him then I deserve to know.

You are getting obsessed with him. But that is quite normal. If you can not talk, why not write down everything and send a mail? You will have to communicate somehow or the pain will eat you away.

We have hung out a few nights this week and I can't even describe how it was. Great to see him and be with him, but..... a bit weird. He gave me a hug and being back in his arms was......
Once was just the two of us and we talked about us. He said give him time, he just doesn't know what he wants right now. I think he is just having a hard time and feels so lost and confused about his future. I am going to give him his time, but live my life as well. That is SO much easier said than done......