BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Comments in support of your decision?

My question is, what comments have people made that have reassured you in your decision? I would like to share a few if I can. *Warning, long post! I'm feeling talkative*

1. My best friend's mum said raising kids was hard. If she knew how hard it was, and especially with a man who didn't want kids (they got divorced), she wouldn't have done it. As much as she loves her kids (my best friend, her brother and I would be included in her brood too, I think), she is on a mission to tell people the truth now we are around 'that age'. Depending on the person, she says, "Don't do it" or "Definitely wait". It is soooooo refreshing. She has had some dirty looks from women who cluck over every child at the sporting club, it is so hilarious but I love her for it (it's her 50th bday today!)

2. My auntie had 3 boys, her first at about 21 years of age. They are now teenagers and she spends her time taxi-ing, feeding their bottomless stomach pits, working in the canteen at the football club, being on the parent club at school etc etc. She runs herself ragged and when I acknowledged her tiredness one day she said "If only I knew......" with a sigh and a heavy heart.

3. My mother who is a typical mum who wants a grand child (thank goodness my brother and his wife are pregnant!) is starting to take on my CF grumbles. We were in dire need of a a quick bite to eat after attending a concert and had to resort to fast food. We looked in 3 'family' restuarants. I said no to the first two for cleanliness/noise reasons (yes, I can be a bit anal) and the 3rd place we went, McDonalds, my mum said, "No, we can't stay here, those children are eating at my nerves!" HAHAHAHAHA! I was like "Hallelujah!! Now you know how I feel every day!"

Thanks for listening xx

"Do what you feel to be right, dear." (mom, dad, inlaws, etc.)

My parents just always said that I should follow my heart and my feelings. My mom has always been very up front with me about the realities of having kids. Not to mention the threat of severe bodily injury should I ever get knocked up (as a teen). My parents never ever pressured me. They went with me and my husband to the hospital when I had the essure procedure done! God I'm lucky to have them.
Fire

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Annike this is an unusual thread - but i like it!
Well, we don't get too many supportive comments. But the ones we do get mean a lot.
My dad has always been supportive of our decision to be childfree. But since my sister had her baby a couple of months ago he's said it several times that we made the right decision. Even though he's crazy about the child, he still thinks it's a lot of time and money invested for very little reward. I really respect my dad's opinions and life experience, so his support means a lot to me.
My sister has been amazing, which is surprising as she has a baby. Her mother in law was asking why we don't have kids, and she lowered her voice to ask if there was 'something wrong'. My sister just said loudly in front of the whole family that there was nothing at all wrong; we just liked our life the way it was and didn't want kids.
It's nice to be supported by people you respect and admire. Even though you know you're doing the right thing for yourself/your relationship, it can be hard to swim against a very strong tide at times. So the positive comments are lovely when they do come.

[color:"blue"] My dad told me that I was very wise. My mom tells me that raising kids is hard and expensive (and with very little reward!) Both of my grandparents (my side) are very supportive! My inlaws want that grand trophy, too. Whatever is what I keep thinking!!!! DREAM ON!!!!!! [/color]

I have gotten supportive comments from a friend of mine's. We met while undergoing the adoption process. She adopted an infant from Ethiopia. I changed my mind after caring for her daughter for a couple of months and figuring out that motherhood was not for me.

When I changed my mind, this friend told me how proud she was of me for "not giving in to societal pressure and following the crowd." She said that it took a strong person to live by their own ideals and do what I felt was in my best interest.

Also, I babysit for this same woman quite a bit and when I took her daughter back to her after a weekend visit recently, she looked really sad and said, "you get to bring her back." I was blown away at her reaction and actually am so relieved when I take her daughter home after a weekend visit. I'm usually so tired and my house is a total mess. I'm so glad to get my life back and can't imagine having to be a mother full-time. I would go nuts.

My Mom is very supportive of my decision not to have children. In fact, we were on a walk one day a few years back...before I got engaged, but when it was obvious that I was heading there, and she begged me NOT to have kids! She said that this is a terrible world that we live in and it's only getting worse, and that this is no way to bring up a child. Come to think of it, this might have been around 9/11 or so.

I don't know if she still feels that way, but she certainly supports my decision not to have kids and she's told other members of the family who are pressuring me to buzz off.

[color:"blue"] I would go nuts, too. I love a spotless house. If I had kids, I would be cleaning more than I already do. I would drive me completely nuts to have the msses that kids bring. Ugh! [/color]

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