BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Any suggestions?

So i saw something yesterday that made me very very, very sad. I was going through my old phone and deleting pictures and videos off of it so i could give it to one of the kids. i came across a video that i had made about a year and a half ago of my husband laying in bed and he looked so happy and i felt that the feeling between us was the best.....it made me think of how much we have grown apart and become so unhappy....i feel i am part to blame for this but i wonder what went wrong why can it not be the same .....every time i think about it it makes me cry....i wish he would have seen that and it made him think the same way and wonder how we can be like that again...i miss that.

You are living in hell right now. You need to get away from this man who is manipulating you and imposing his will on you.

By the way, really 'smart' people don't brag about their intelligence.

I agree with maid2order about leaving for awhile. It might force him to think about his role in all of this. At first, of course, it's going to be all your fault and you're just being selfish, etc., etc., but if you just give it some time to simmer into his thick skull, he just might get it. My mom was married for over 20 years to my stepdad who was just like your husband. He was very possesive of her time and she could never have any friends or spent any time away from him without dealing with the consequences once she got home. Heaven forbid she didn't come home in time to make his dinner. He was even jelous and pouted when my sister and I would come home from college for the weekend or a holiday and we'd go out for the day with our mom. We always got home from shopping or something and he would be pouting and in a bad mood for the rest of the day. All their problems were alway her fault or the fault of her little dog that he always threatened he would hurt some time when she was gone. My sister and I tried to convince her for years that she should just leave and get away from that abusive relationship, but she was too afraid to be out on her own and starting over. He came down with cancer and suffered for about a year and a half before he died that year and during that time, she said he apolized for giving her such a hard time. It took him being on his death bed to really see his mistakes. Now that she's on her own, she's been the happiest she's been in many years. She said she doesn't even really miss him like she thought she would. I just wish she didn't have to waste all those years trying to make him happy and he never appreciated anything she did....until the end when it no longer mattered.

i don't know how much longer i can go on like this. i feel like things are tearing us apart. money, work, stress. for 4 nights now we have slept in seperate beds on seperate ends of the house. i feel so alone. last night i went in and asked him if i could sleep with him and he said he was pretty comfortable sleeping by himself. that hurt me so bad. especially when he told me that him being so comfortable sleeping with me is one of the reasons that he can't get up in the morning.

Life hurts many times. please have faith.