BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Step-parent aches

I am a step-father and I know this should be a stricly woman site but I feel that I would get a better response coming from a women than me asking Joe at the bar. That was a joke. Anyway, my wife and I were best friends in 1984 and after a year I finally got the nerve to ask her to go with me, but during the same conversation she told me she had to move to Florida from Texas. I never told her how I felt, until I found her seventeen years later in 2001 and still had the strong feelings for her. We have married since then, she has three kids 15, 13 and 7. I am still trying to cope with their attitudes and behaviors,but that is a different post. Well, my wife's Ex cheated on her when she was pregnant with their three child. And she later found out that it was going on for four years. In their divorce decree he stated that he was claiming the kids on taxes. We have tried to change it, but he refused to signed the papers, he says that he needs to claim them, but they live with us? They got divorced in Florida and she was only awarded $900 a month. They have been divorced for eight years now. My wife has ask for more child support, but he quickly changes the subject. She has asked for a copy of his tax return and he refused. We now live in Texas and he only cares to see the kids once a year and we normally take them to him, but he brings them back. He has married the "other" woman unknowning to everyone and the kids. They just return from their two week stay with him, my wife and I hated it. I feel that it is wrong for them to see her as a step-mother. He cheated with this lady four four years, she knew he had kids and a pregnant wife at home but she still did what she did. What will the kids think when they get older knowing that this is the woman that broke up their parents? I am doing my best trying to make ends meet and strech our paychecks. I bought a house where each kid has their own room instead of sharing. I try to give the kids more than I had...and they are not even mine, but in my heart they are. These kids were meant to be from me not him. It is a shame that their own father uses them for his own financial goals. It is tough being a step-parent.

It is tough being a step-parent I agree. As the years go on the children get older and see things for themselves and then you will ne rewarded. I have been in the same boat a few years ago, and now those children have seen the light and the light has darkened towards their true father.

Just stay put and be there when you are needed.

You sound like a great guy overkill...I have stepchildren and they are just like my natural children. Maybe ya'll could take him back to court...8 years is a long time since her support was awarded. Talk to a lawyer...as far as the taxes go I would think since the kids are in your house for most of the year that ya'll would claim them. Maybe talk to an accountant too.

Overkill,

As far as the child support, take him to court. Tax returns will be requested, and he will have to give them to the court. About the affair...for your children's sake, it is vital that you are able to forgive your wife's ex and his his wife. He is their father, and truthfully, while it was very very wrong, what matters is that everyone loves the children, and puts them first. His wife is their stepmom now, and hopefully she treats them well. That is all that matters. It is a bitter pill to swallow someone's infidelity, but carrying that anger around, and maybe someday sharing it with the kids will not help them develop into to healthy adults. I hope everyone can put aside their differences (I know this is alot!).

Good luck.