BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Large & Lovely why cant we love ourselves?

i was just wondering why we as the beautiful women dont think we are beatiful? i dont find myself attractive but my husband does. since having my 3 kids in a span of 4 years of course i put on weight. but since my last baby was born i have lost 60 pounds but to me that isnt good enough. i just got into some pants that i havent woren in about 4 years. and that is a good thing but i am still over weight and still not loveing myself or accepting myself. do ya'll have that problem as well? thanks candy

sorry about the spelling!

I do, I've had that problem since I was little, and till this day I still put myself down, I still call myself ugly and always think that I'm not good enough to be with anyone or that I can't fit in. You know, I always think that nothing will ever get better. I ask why me why do you want to be with me or even hang with me I have been used a lot of times in my life because you look for someone to fill in the gaps you think you can't fill in.

I don't know why we can't love ourselves all I do is look in the mirror everyday and think worthless.

it is good to know that i am not alone in my feelings or worthlessness. i think that it is our society and the pressure we face to be thin and perfect. when reality is noone is perfect right? then why cant we accept ourselves and let it be. this is a question i have struggled with for most of my life. i have a tough shell on the outside and i am a very good person on the inside. but i have been hurt so moch in my life that it is hard to let people in. thank you so much for being honest tina! i see your screen name and that makes me sad cause i am sure you are a very beutiful women. try this when you look in the mirror try and say just 1 good thing about yourself. just one and then the rest will come all in time. i know this helps when i get dressed up and put on makeup i think i look good. people say i am a beautiful woman but it is hard for me to see it. just know you are not alone and you cant talk to me cause i do know how you feel. thanks candy

HEY IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE WHAT i LOOK LIKE GO TO www.MYSPACE.COM/TIFFANYSHARAE i CAN PROVE THAT I'M NOT PRETTY

Well Tiffany, I've been trying to get onto Myspace to chat with you, but i'm obviously too old to understand how that place works! <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

But if that top left picture is you - then you are pulling a mighty big sham coming on here and putting yourself down like this! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You look like you are having a blast, and you look great, too. Maybe not Twiggy thin - but then none of us on this board are!

It's been a long road for me ladies, coming to accept myself. And since i had wieght loss surgery, a lot would say I haven't accpeted myself for who I am. But I will say that I entered a modeling competition at 35 years of age, 202 lbs; and got back some fantastic initial reviews (I'll find out Friday if I get offered a contract or not).

But even more importatnly - I would have never attempted this a year ago. I have been in therapy dealing with issues arising from an early rape, my own battle with depression, and eating disorders ranging from anorexia when i was younger to bingeing just a few years ago - before my surgery. I had to make a lot of life altering decisions for my health and for the best of my family. But the biggest changes i made were the mental ones. Because I would have never been able to fulfill or stick with the physical ones if I had not taken the time (6 months in therapy) to deal with my emotional issues.

We are beautiful women. We just have to accept it and own it, and ignore those that wish to say otherwise because they might have some inferiority complex! <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

hi thanks for the comp I appreciate it. That is really how I feel, and despite the things on my web page those are things I put because I wanna feel like that but I don't. I just thought it would help me out and maybe if I say I'm a diva then I would feel it and so on I agree with what you are saying, I also feel for what you are/were going through.I want to ask you about your surgery in the weight loss section.

tina you are a beautiful girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you dont have a weight problem. you look good! and you are a diva so am i! i feel that inside every women has a diva hideing somewhere inside them. so be the diva that you are! thanks candy

Thanks Iappreciate it

hey tina we have alot more in common than you think. your birthday is in june right? casue we have the same sign cancer. i too am married and as you know have 3 kids i love to belly dance and sing also. i have been writing for about 14 yrs now and i have a large collection of poems. i write songs too. i stay home and i cant decide what i want to do when all the kids go to school. we will have to waite and see. thanks candy

wow your right we do have a lot in common my b day is june 26 I have two kids