BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Ever had doubts?

Was just wondering about childfree folks' resolve not to have kids. Have you ever found yourself wavering in your decision? If so, what caused you to doubt that you're doing the right thing by being childfree?
I thought when i was 20 that i probably didn't want to have kids; i was terrified of becoming pregnant. I even asked my doctor about sterilisation at that time. He thought it was really funny, and told me to wait at least 10 years before making that decision.
Later, i figured that i would probably want kids eventually. Everybody insisted that i would! It was only when my husband and i discussed the matter that i made a definite decision. Since then (8 years ago) i haven't doubted the rightness of my choice.

I went through a period of doubt a few years ago. I think what it stemmed from was a good friend of mine had become pregnant, and then some of my other friends started having kids. I also started getting some flack from family members and friends of my parents about having kids; I'm an only child, so they were giving me guilt about that. I had felt for a long time that I didn't want to have kids, but that I would eventually have to, because people told me I would change my mind and that you're supposed to have kids.
I tried considering the subject from a fence sitter point of view. Slowly, I began realizing that the only reason I thought I wanted kids was because I didn't know how to handle the situation with my friends. I would go out with them and feel like a fifth wheel when they talked about kid stuff, but I realize now I should've started branching out and finding new friends and new activities to get involved with to compensate for the changing friendships. It's hard when you suddenly can relate to your friends and aren't sure you even like some of them. I also didn't feel like I could be honest with them because if I told them how I felt, I figured they would cut me off completely or try and talk me into having kids.

Talking with my parents helped. They told me that I shouldn't have a child just to please them, and I see now that it would be very unfair to have one, simply because I don't enjoy children and would likely be stuck with most of the work. Also, the idea of being pregnant makes me nauseous.

[color:"darkred"] I don't doubt my childfreeness. I just stick to my convictions. I am doing what is right for me. I'm living my life, no one else is and if they don't like it, tough! You only live once. Live life like you want too, and you wouldn't want to mess your life up. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />[/color]

Ever had doubts?

No.

When you are frightened to death of all that parenthood entails, it is very difficult to doubt your decision.

The closest I've come to doubting was a brief flirtation with adopting an older child "someday." However, I realized over time that I can help orphans and foster children in different capacities, and that by avoiding owning one I can reach out to many more than I'd otherwise be able to.

I agree. I've never had a doubt. I told my mother when I was about 10-12 that I didn't want any. She said you'll change your mind. I never did & she supported me in the decision even though my sister never wanted/had any either. The thought of being pregnant, having the kid & then spending my life catering to kids & not having the time to do what I wanted turned me off big time.

Not a single doubt.

[color:"blue"] Parenthood turns me off, too. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] I'd rather do a lot other things than be a parent. Even if the kid behaved. [/color]

Nope. Never doubted my choice for a moment.

There is an advert on television (in UK) for a supermarket called morrisons. It's a really [censored] advert and they say "Reason number 249 for shopping at Morrisons" and give some half baked reason why you should shop there, like they give you free shopping bags or there is lighting in store so you can see what you're buying...anyway....

My husband and I have converted this over to our childfree choice. "Reason number 6,106 for not having children..." being able to laze around in bed when we like.

Pointless but amusing.