logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#258583 07/14/06 03:36 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 66
K
Amoeba
OP Offline
Amoeba
K
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 66
Hi Readers! As a career counselor who works with college students, I get asked this question a lot. I'm wondering if any of you have any tips? The question is...now that I'm graduating, should I consider moving to a new city with my boyfriend, even if I don't have a job there? <img src="/images/graemlins/fish.gif" alt="" />

Should I follow my boyfriend to a new city after I graduate?
single choice
Votes accepted starting: 07/14/06 12:00 PM
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll.

Kristy Jackson
Sponsored Post Advertisement
#258584 07/14/06 03:40 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 110
S
Jellyfish
Offline
Jellyfish
S
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 110
Now is the time, if you are going to take a chance, it is easier to make changes I feel when you are younger and not set in your ways. Look at it as an opportunity for adventure, growth and expansion. Good luck to you both.

#258585 07/17/06 10:01 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479
Gecko
Offline
Gecko
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 479
Give yourself an out. Move to be with him, fine, but make sure it's someplace you actually want to be stuck if the two of you split up, and make sure you have a job, a place to live, etc. and aren't in trouble if he says "we're ending it, now move out." And always have a backup if that falls through.

I learned this the hard way; I made huge plans to move in with my partner of almost four years, planned all of my future around living in that town...and then we split up before I got a job and moved there, and I had to abandon everything and start over in my hometown, where the opportunities were far less. I don't recommend it! And there's no way I'd ever again even think about moving for a guy unless it were somewhere I already wanted to move and I were going to be living on my own so if the relationship went splitsville, I'd still be okay.

#258586 07/17/06 10:09 PM
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,172
Koala
Offline
Koala
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,172
I tend to go with the theory that you should never jump ship without a life-vest, a raft and a paddle. Translation: Go, if that's really what you and he want; but you really need to have a plan of action. You can't expect the other person to support you. You'll need a job, you need to contribute for your share, and you need a backup plan (in case any or all of the arrangement doesn't work).

#258587 07/17/06 10:27 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Mine wasnt so good.

He actually married me so that i could move with him to Hawaii- -whch sounded like paradise, but was for three years, and I was only 19, and had never been farther from my family than from the 4 hour it took to fdrive from m college to the huouse..It was a MAJOR change.

I felt completely isolated on that island - 'cause I was the new 19 yr old officer's wife - the baby. i kept hearing about wive's clubs - but noone ever told me what to do. So I was just a loner. If I had to do it again - I'd aof kicked more booti and said "what's up with this?" and made a nuisance of myself trying to get involved. At least then i'd of had fun!

Make your own fun and friends, don't count on his having wives and girlfriends thath will be entertaining or worthwhile (although hopefully some will!)


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
#258588 07/18/06 02:31 AM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 263
Shark
Offline
Shark
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 263
It could be a fun adventure....as long as the girlfriend isn't sacrificing any big opportunities and is equipped to take care of herself; particularly in the event that the relationship ends.


Mother always said that even when things seem bad there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter or being chained to the wall in someone's sex dungeon.
#258589 07/18/06 05:38 AM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311
T
Shark
Offline
Shark
T
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311
Make sure you could be independant if you have to. As a lot of us know there is not always a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I wish you luck


Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them
but you always know they are there.
#258590 07/26/06 07:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 66
K
Amoeba
OP Offline
Amoeba
K
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 66
Wow-thanks to everyone who wrote in with all of the great advice. It's a hard decision, isn't it? For me, both times I was the one who got the job first. When I finished college, I moved away, and my boyfriend at the time dumped me! But when I finished graduate school, I had a new boyfriend, and he moved with me. (We're married now, by the way--yay!). I definitely agree with those of you who said to check it out first & to be independent if you had to be. Moving & starting over is always hard & it is so easy to get "clingy" when you are in a new place & don't know anyone.


Kristy Jackson
#258591 07/26/06 07:50 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3
N
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
N
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3
Never relocate for a boyfriend! To many questions follow that
1 What if you break up?
2 Can you really be dependent on this person to support you while you look for a job?
3 Can you/and this person handle the emotional toll it takes on you because you don't work? or will it just be alot of tension?
If this person really cares they will understand you being established first more (secure in your career), before you relocate away from family/friends. Because nowbody wants to go back home to live with mom/dad. <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

#258592 07/26/06 08:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 263
Shark
Offline
Shark
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 263
Well, I think that's what we were all saying...DON'T be dependent on your boyfriend - make sure you can take care of yourself in case you do break up. If the relationship is solid (which obviously is not a guarantee that it will never end) and you're not giving up some wonderful opportunity and your boyfriend has a job somewhere and you want the relationship to continue....it could be a great experience. Everyone needs a little adventure in their lives....as long as you've got a safety net.


Mother always said that even when things seem bad there's someone else who's having a worse day. Like being stung by a bee or getting a splinter or being chained to the wall in someone's sex dungeon.
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5