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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382 |
<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 71
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 71 |
IndependentWoman, I can absolutely relate. My husband and I recently went through a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I don't want kids (and he does). Lot of crying, therapy, etc...and while I feel reasonably good about the decision most of the time, I do occasionally get a little twinge of "It seems like it WOULD be nice"...especially since my husband would be happy. But then I start thinking about all the things that Bella Harmony wrote about, and that usually cures the "what-ifs". It is hard, though--I'm involved in planning a baby shower for a good friend, and I just get grumpy thinking about the whole thing. I don't want to be in her shoes, so it's not jealousy...more just that I have to put up with MORE baby stuff when I just want to take a break from it! But, that is the society we live in, so I guess I had better get used to it! When I feel kind of sorry for myself, I come to these chatboards and read about others who also don't want to have kids--always makes me feel better!
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382 |
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498 |
[color:"blue"] Bella Harmony, thank you for telling the truth. You are very honest, and straightforward. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Btw, I love giving/recieving gifts from my dh. Always a pleasure! [/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/kiss.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/lovers.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by WaterLily3422; 07/18/06 09:39 PM.
If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 311 |
Don't be jealous. If you do not want any children stick to your guns. Who wants Sleepless nights, poopy nappies and tied down.
Some of us are just not meant to be mums.
Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them
but you always know they are there.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 13
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 13 |
I don't feel jealous but I am getting increasingly angry in my old age when i am forced to sit and listen to all the nauseating details that they spout. No offense intended to Bella Harmony, i understand why she wrote what she did here, but I don't want to know about reflux and I am to the point of just skipping social events because all the "moms" feel some great need to share this information with me. I mean, after all, I don't have kids so i must be just dying to hear all the details of their constipation ( i kid you not!) and stretch marks. If i walk away in the middle of the endless diatribe then i am rude. If i stay i feel that i betray myself in some fundamental way. I don't want to hear it, any of it, so why does society dictate that i must stay and listen? WHY isn't it rude for them to go on and on? We have a function to attend on Friday and I would rather chew my own foot off than go. Maybe I am just not in the mood to smile and walk away today! HA! I would seriously like to understand, if any of you do, why they never talk about anything else. Don't any of them read? Have a pet? We are in Europe, for goodness sake, and yet the first and longest topic we cover is not Paris or London - who am i kidding?? - it's their kids! Maybe it will rain buckets and the event will be canceled. Everybody cross your fingers and hope for rain!! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382 |
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498 |
[color:"Magenta"] Sounds like they need to get a hobby. [/color]
If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 351
Shark
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Shark
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 351 |
i went to my therapist today and asked her straight out why some parents feel compelled to only talk about their kids!!! as a mother herself i told her that i really don't get it and she told me right out that it;s simply because they have nothing else to talk about. how sad i thought.
i asked this question because i was at my best friend's (bern)daughter's 3 year birthday party last sunday( yes i somehow made it through) and i really try not to feel left out but every year i go i come home feeling kinda sad and well left out. you see not only am i surrounded by other parents at these parties but i'm also best friends with bern's sister and she's gettin married in oct. and wants to start a family within the next year or two. my friend bern just had her second child so you can imagine at this party how it all went down. add to the fact that their other friend was there who isn't even married or has kids but kept saying taht she loves being get this ,yes she really said this " a baby hog!!" what the hell is that. i held my friend's baby for about two minutes and although i like her i was more than happy to give her back. but this girl was ridiculus. then the four of us are sitting there talking and of course i had to sit there and hear about kids and kid related conversation for what seemed like forever. i know that i'll have to hear this stuff at times but sometimes it gets really boring and annoying.
sorry this is such a long post but i really had to get this off my chest.i swear i've been thinking about this since the party.
it's difficult because these are my two best friends but sometimes i feel out of the loop even with them.
i don't feel jealous at all. in fact everyime i go to these parties or talk to people about kids i feel even better about my choice.
i think the hardest part about being cf for me anyway is feeling left out. does anyone else feel this way?
thanks for letting me vent.
indigo
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498 |
i went to my therapist today and asked her straight out why some parents feel compelled to only talk about their kids!!! as a mother herself i told her that i really don't get it and she told me right out that it;s simply because they have nothing else to talk about. how sad i thought.
i asked this question because i was at my best friend's (bern)daughter's 3 year birthday party last sunday( yes i somehow made it through) and i really try not to feel left out but every year i go i come home feeling kinda sad and well left out. you see not only am i surrounded by other parents at these parties but i'm also best friends with bern's sister and she's gettin married in oct. and wants to start a family within the next year or two. my friend bern just had her second child so you can imagine at this party how it all went down. add to the fact that their other friend was there who isn't even married or has kids but kept saying taht she loves being get this ,yes she really said this " a baby hog!!" what the hell is that. i held my friend's baby for about two minutes and although i like her i was more than happy to give her back. but this girl was ridiculus. then the four of us are sitting there talking and of course i had to sit there and hear about kids and kid related conversation for what seemed like forever. i know that i'll have to hear this stuff at times but sometimes it gets really boring and annoying.
sorry this is such a long post but i really had to get this off my chest.i swear i've been thinking about this since the party.
it's difficult because these are my two best friends but sometimes i feel out of the loop even with them.
i don't feel jealous at all. in fact everyime i go to these parties or talk to people about kids i feel even better about my choice.
i think the hardest part about being cf for me anyway is feeling left out. does anyone else feel this way?
thanks for letting me vent.
indigo [color:"blue"] {{{{{hugs}}}}}} Yes, I do feel this way. Just remember, those people do NOT have a life, and they are secretly jealous of you. I've seen plenty of people (including my moo-in-law and including 1 grandma) who know nothing but to talk about their kids or their kids. If someone has to live through someone else or their accomplishments, they have not done much with their own life. How shallow and sad. They are not including you because you have the lifestyle they secretly crave, but cannot have. [/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/angel.gif" alt="" />
If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
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