Hello all,
I tried to post in the "why is CF such a hot topic" thread, but failed several times. Hopefully this will work!
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It's a hot topic...well, because I think that when historians look back on the 20th century, the invention of the pill will prove to be one of those watershed moments in human history, almost like the invention of the printing press. The reverberations of not *having* to become parents if we don't want to will probably take a few hundred years to fully shake themselves out. We are pioneers, ladies!
By way of introduction, I must say it's nice to have happened on such a nice CF dicussion group, all women, all married! (I'm engaged and will be married in 11/06...I hope you ladies will let me stay). It's my second marriage (his too). And yes, he's had the snip, thank goodness. We actually discussed fertility issues on our first date! (And no, my first marriage didn't break up due to CF issues; we were both staunchly CF. Though he was a wonderful, smart, generous guy, he was a serious alcoholic who couldn't get through a day without drinking...a lot. I waited ten years for him to get help; he never did.)
It seems all roads lead to Rome for me...I have a million reasons to be CF. I have polycystic ovarian sydrome (which causes infertility, among a constellation of other entertaining issues); only one functioning kidney (not a good bet for pregnancy); I'm a teacher (high school music) who likes *older* kids (over about age 4 is fine with me, as long as they're not mine...toddlers make me want to scream), so I get my fill of nurturing and making my mark on the future, believe me; as I said, I'm a teacher, and a private school one at that, so while I get a lot of time off, my pay is pretty low (enough for me and my sweetie and even to put away for retirement, but not enough for orthodontia and college --- not a chance); I'm an auntie of twins, age 12 now, so that's lots of fun (but thank goodness they aren't my full-time responsibility!); I'm a serious environmentalist (my favorite bumper sticker on my car says "OVERPOPULATION --- HOW DENSE CAN WE GET?") who just can't abide by the idea of compromising the futures of other species (and, increasingly, that of our own species as well) by simply adding more numbers to our already staggering 6.5 billion; I just can't imagine living the life of a parent, since all the things I enjoy doing in my downtime (travel, jazz, art films, gardening, ethnic cuisine) aren't exactly compatible with most kids' tastes; but most importantly, to quote an imminently quotable CF pal of mine, "I just don't wanna". That's all anyone should have to say.
I spent a few years in the late 90's on the Usenet group alt.support.childfree. It was a godsend to me whihle I was in the process of deciding to become formally CF (before that, it was always "maybe...later...someday...maybe...later", i.e., what I was really thinking was "I don't wanna think about it because it's the one part of supposedly being "an adult" that I didn't gravitate towards!). a.s.c. was very helpful to me while I was in that process of shedding my societally-issued skin of "proto-mom-in-the-making" and getting comfortable with my real identity: woman, devout musician, writer, lover of fuzzy critters, etc. However, there was also a lot of bile on that group (most created, or at least perpetuated, I have to say, by *male* users of the group...whom, IMO, didn't need the "support" element nearly as much as the women! So I left. Nice to find a group of all women, as I said --- and married ones, at that.
Hope you all let me stay, as I said --- even thought I don't have my certificate yet. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Cheers
Elise in NH
