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Yeppers.. a bonified Gay Jew.. Twice Blessed ;0)

But to the school... I went to an ULTRA-conservative PRIVATE Christian university which will remain nameless, and was a gay jewish boy. I was married to my beshert but was required to live on campus since I was not married or living with my parents. I would go home on the weekends to my husband while during the week playing the role of dutiful christian student. I went to chapel twice a week, church twice a week and a prayer service. Hey, I had to play the role of poster child! Well anyways.. the double life was getting to me and causeing some psychological problems so I went to see one of the counselors at the counseling center. It was free and easily acessable.

Needless to say, I came out to this counselor. He told me to pray about it and gave me pamphlets about being gay, blah blah blah. Then at the end of the semester after I hadn't done so well I receive a letter stating I was on academic probation for the following semester until I brought my grades back up to a 2.0 for the semester. I earned a 1.0 that semester. My cum. GPA was a 2.98 but you had to maintain a 2.0 for each semester. Anyways.. about 2 weeks later my husband passes away suddenly and almost a week after we buried him I receive a second letter from the university stating that I had failed to meet the academic requirements of the academic probation, therefore I was academically suspended and unable to return the next semester. I would have to earn credit at a community college or another university before I could return to the school. I was like.. ok.. this is a sign someone said something, my place isn't here, and my life needs to go into a different direction. So within 10 days after my husband died, I had packed everything up, lost my school, heard my mother's cancer was terminal, and moved over 350 miles across the state to attend a public university in the middle of no where!

BTW.. that counselor no longer can practice anywhere in the US as a LPC. He can be a christian counselor, but not an LPC. Don't mess with my life and think you will get away with it... especially when my major is counseling and I know all the rules about patient confidentiality even when you are part of a private school. LOL

That's it watered downa nd in a nut-shell!

Jase ;0)

Dear Jase,

Well, I wish I could give you a huge hug right now! First, I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your husband. I can't begin to imagine how you feel. And your mother, is she still living? I'm very sorry to hear about her terminal cancer. And all that happened after your terrible experiences at uni. You have definitely been through the wringer much more so than most people.

If you don't mind my asking, how did you end up at a Christian University in the first place? That would be, no offense to Christians, a living hell for me. Imagine a Christian attending a university where he was taught that Adonai Elohaynu, Adonai Echad!? Did you grow up in a Jewish household?

By chance, have you seen the Sandi DuBowski film Trembling Before G-d? It's about Chasidic and other frum who are trying to deal with being gay. It's an incredible film.

Dear Jase,
Im so sorry to hear about your husband and mom!! I lost my dad when i was 5 yrs old to a diebetic induced heart attack and i cant imagine losing my husband!!! his my world even if i am mad at him at the moment! LOL

I have a question sence ya'll broght it up.
Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy= the Pentateuch, the Old Testament= the Tanakh and the Torah is the whole Jewish Teachings. Did i get that right?
So what books are in the Torah?

oh yea what is the deal with G-d?

Bubbles,

Many people who are devout do not write the name of the Divine out fully, as it is considered offensive to the deity to do so. You can find this practice in many religions.

Oh ok thank you i wonder!!! why would it be offensive?

jase,

I had never heard you whole story before.

I am so sorry. That does not say it nearly enough- but I cannot think of any other words.

I knew we had much in common with our depression and such, now I know why.

<img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" />

Uh...ask ten people and get ten different answers! Actually, the word Torah means "law" or "teaching" in Hebrew and can refer to many things. The sacred scroll from which a rabbi reads in a synagogue is called a Torah. But in a very broad sense, Torah refers to Jewish oral and written law. So, if someone is going to read from the Tanakh at home or study Jewish texts such as the Talmud or Midrash, the person might refer to what he's reading as "Torah study."

Mother passed after a 5.5 year battle with Large Cell Dyfused Lymphoma non-Hodgkins Disease. Surprisingly she didn't die because of the cancer.. but because of complications due to the chemotherapy in addition to kidney failure. They gave her 6 months, and she lasted 5.5 years. Every six months her doctor gave her a 6 month birthday party. It was cute.

As for the Uni.. it was closest Uni to home so that I could go home and care for mom twice a week in addition to it was near the city in which I grew up and where my husbands family was. We were all very close and tight-knit. I chose to go there after having a bad experience at a public Uni 400 miles from home (subsequently the Uni I attend now) where I was suddenly ill and had to go hom. The next year I wanted to go back to school but had the husband by that time, so stayed in the area. It was very tough going there and hearing abotu Jesus this and that and me arguing LOL

I was not raised in a Jewish home. I converted when I was 13. I then married into a Jewish Family. Love them! I am home in Judaism. It is funny, I have born jew friends who I blow out of the water with my knowledge. They are ashamed they don't know as much. They say it's a shame a convert knows much more than a born Jew.. it should be the other way around.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Trembling. I want to do a viewing of it at the Uni this fall. I think it'd be a good show.

Jase ;0)

Dear Jase,

Wow, you have quite unique history.

It's great that your mother fought the narrow time frame that she was given!



That's terrific! I've never known anyone that young to convert. I'll bet you do know more than many born Jews (including me!). I've forgotten who it was, but some born Jew said that he envied anyone converting to Judaism because all the beauty and wisdom of it is so fresh, and he'd love to learn it all over again for the very first time.



<img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I had a feeling that it wasn't exactly news to you! It was the incredible soundtrack by Zorn that introduced me to the film. I have the DVD which includes a great deal of extras, such as the reactions from the public, and follow-ups to the stories of the people (also, a HILARIOUS short film by DuBowski about his Bubbe). I don't think that one needs to be either gay or Jewish to enjoy the film. It provides a lot of provoking thought. I hope you are able to show the film. It would be fantastic if you could highly publicize the showing and then invite discussion afterward.