BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why Get Married?

My husband and I were together for several years and neither of our families ever bugged us about marriage, just like they don't bug us now about kids. We got married because we love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together and because we wanted to make that official commitment to each other. I suppose "tradition" played a big part in that because obviously you don't need a ceremony to make an emotional commitment to one other (and children were never on the agenda). And then there's all the practical stuff about benefits, etc. that Lynn mentioned.

I also had a kick a** wedding: beautiful setting, fabulous food, open bar, friends & family, and I looked like a serious hottie in my dress <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I wanted that "ooh" and "aah" moment when I came down the aisle, the memories of "you may kiss the bride" and that first dance. It was a great party and celebration of our relationship.

Post deleted by WaterLily3422

Is this post serious??? Please say no.

Extended family would'nt be hounding you about "when are you going to have kids" or speculating about if one of you is reproductively challenged

And if you aren't married, family hounds you about when are you getting married. You just trade one for another.

Marriage has a lot of legal benefits that have nothing to do with love. That's half the reason the push for gay marriage is so big. Without that little piece of paper, inheritance can be challenged, hospital visitation rights are nonexistant, there's no legal protection if you split up...among other things.

I'd wonder more about people who get married for the sole sake of having children. Marriage should be about spending your life with the person you love, not popping 'em out.


anyway, without a wedding ceremony, i wouldn't have gotten all that cake.

Sure you can. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'm half-serious when I tell my mom I'm going to have a non-wedding with a non-wedding cake. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Why should the people getting married get all the silverware and other household items while I have to buy it all myself? <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

katja,
be sure to have the non-wedding shower too. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> i was thinking the same thing about marriages. what about health insurance? you can't just put your girlfriend or boyfriend on your health insurance. it's spouse and/or family. there are so many reasons to get married. and love is a big one. but you're right. there are many others.

oh, and the weird thing on our end is family never bugged us about having kids. even when they didn't know we were trying and having infertility problems. they never really asked. it eventually came out though. the people who bugged us the most were "friends" and acquaintances.

[color:"darkgreen"] Your lucky that family hasn't bugged you, Holly. [/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/irish.gif" alt="" />

Oh yes, ANOTHER reason to get married...all the gifts and cold hard cash! We made out like bandits at our wedding. Do you get presents if you renew your vows?

I KID!!! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Marriage is giving legal shape to a relationship. the way society is moving now, there is no difference left other than legality.

At my company, gay couples can register a same sex couple and claim a Domestic Partnership and get most of the benefits that married couples do, but unmarried opposite sex couples cannot. That's not why my husband and I got married, but I always thought it was unfair that opposite sex unmarried couples have no opportunity for shared benefits. I am totally fine with gay couples having those benefits, but I felt that opposite sex couples should have the same option, as long as they were in a committed relationship (I can understand they can't have people changing their domestic partner weekly, but there are requirements that gay couples have to meet to claim a domestic partnership, which they could also extend to opposite sex couples.) My company also thinks that women should pay for their own birth control, but that's another bucket of fish entirely (they cover pregancy and childbirth and the resulting child's medical though).

Hi, I'm new to the forums, but I've been reading them. I probably belong in the Single forum, but I think this one suits me better as I decided 5 years ago to be childfree forever.

I've got to say that I, for one, am not entirely sold on the idea of marriage. I may only be 20, and I haven't ruled marriage out completely (but I have with kids!!) and so I just go by if it happens, it happens - but I'm not pushing for it. I suppose I'm just sort of on the fence about marriage in general. I am going to my friend's wedding reception next week (she's my age) and she's already got it mapped out. They'll start having kids in 2009 - on the 3 year plan. She has never haranged me about my ambivalence toward marriage and my firm stance on not having kids - but I'm guessing that I'm going to be getting A LOT of that a little later on from my parents, sister and friends...I found it funny though that when my roommate brought up me finding a rich husband, I said "I don't really want to get married." Her response: "I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that."

While I laugh about stuff like that, it annoys me that people respond like that and don't accept my choices as valid ones. I don't say things like that at people who want to get married, or want to have children. I suppose it just goes to show the difference in our acceptance of other people who are different than we are.

Sorry for the long post, I just had to get that out! <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />