Hi redhotmomma !
Have you considered henna? It'll give you superb redness and conditioning into the bargain. I know henna isn't popular with hairdressers, and with most people who've heard about it on the grapevine, but honestly , there's a lot of "misinformation" about. Try it and see !
ps- I have hair colour gallery photos on my site of people who have hennaed their hair if you want to have a look and get an idea of how it's likely to turn out. If you don't like the henna, you can hair dye over it ! You'd need to give it a week or so though - the longer the better - for the hair to be ready to take on hair dye colour again.
A word of caution : if you do decide to try it, you must be absolutely certain that it is 100% pure henna without additives. ADDITIVES SPELL TROUBLE - the sort of trouble that your hairdresser is familiar with as a result of compound henna metallic salt mixes.