BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Are You Feeling Left Out?

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I'm not quite old enough, I don't think, to have to worry about this. (I have to worry about feeling left out though because I'm single and always will be. In my life the kid thing probably won't come up because everyone will be fixated on the fact that I'm not in a relationship. Although I anticipate the killing-two-birds-with-one-stone question, "why don't you want to get married? Don't you want kids?" I can't wait for that one.)

I imagine that once my friends/people my age start getting married in earnest in a few years (rather than the serious relationships/engagements most of them are currently in), and then really once they start popping them out, I'll be getting more hell. I think right now I'm still considered too young to get married/have kids.

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It is nice to find out that there are other women who chose not to have kids. I almost feel like I am the only one. Everyone I know has kids. I pretty much stopped being friends with them as soon as they became parents or even knew they were going to become parents. I just have no interest in being around them anymore. Thanks to everyone for writing in expressing your thoughts/comments on the subject.

dont forget the biological clock that is running out of dirt but not fast enough and the more i read about mrs somebody thats 85 years old and live in hinds fiffty seven in the back 40 that has to get pregent and have 6 kids in one pop, the more i think the clock will run until after i am dead and gone and some mommy will dig me up and force me to be mommyfied against my will because she thinks every women NEEDS to be a MOMMY. some thing to look forward too?!!

Katja, how old are you? and why have you desided not to get married? im curisous.

I'm 23.

And A. it's hard for me to find friends, let alone something more; I'm a little too much for most guys to handle, and I'm picky. A guy who likes me, and especially one I like back, comes along only once in a blue moon. And I don't see the point in spending my life mooning over the fact that I can't find a guy (plus if I say I don't want a relationship, people will think I'm single because of that, not because I can't get a guy).

And B. I was hurt very badly in my last relationship, just absolutely screwed over in many ways and my life and future plans and heart were absolutely torn to pieces. Even prior to that I didn't believe that relationships last, I don't now even more than ever, and I really don't have the time nor the energy to keep having my heart broken again and again. I spent four years with my ex thinking we were deeply in love, deeply committed, and with us planning a life together; I only have so many years in my life and going through that over and over again is not my idea of fun. Plus, we had a fantastic relationship, and I know I'm not going to find anything that good again, and I don't want to settle for something less.

In short....I'd rather live for myself than get myself in a tizzy looking for a guy and then spending an entire relationship waiting for the axe to fall and picking up the pieces when it does.

I hear ya on it being hard to find friends. I don't see anything wrong with being picky. Plus, there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slowly. I give people one chance. If they lie to me, then that's it. If a person lies to you, then they have no respect for you and they are not worth your time. If they lie once, they'll do it again, same with cheating or any other thing disrespecting.

I know a good friend in the UK who's never married, and someone made the big mistake of asking her he question:

"Soooo.... Are we looking for Mr. Right, to get married, then....?"

She replied...

"Are you kidding? I'm never going to either look for Mr. Right OR get married, because it simply goes against the Law of Evolution for me to associate myself with a species further down the Evolutionary Ladder...."

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