BellaOnline Forums Relationships Single Life The hardest thing about being single is...

**Not having the loving touch of another

It's weird, but most of Katja's points are the reasons I love to be single:
~I have complete control over my money
~I can take a new job where ever I like and have a fresh start when I get there... I can start over socially!
~I don't have to coordinate my plans with anyone (I love knowing that no one in the world knows where I am sometimes)

As for not having someone you know cares about you, it seems that's something I hear a lot, and frankly I'm kinda stumped by that statement. I have friends, family, and colleagues who all care about me a lot and that's more than I need. Open question to all: Why do single women feel there's no one who cares about them?

Well, in my case it comes of not really having friends. I mean, I do, but they're my friends from college which means I never see them. In addition, they were mutual friends of my ex and I, and unfortunately when he and I split up they all wanted to believe better of him and his new tart and wanted to believe their lies, and so I came out looking like a liar/drama queen...while I'm still friends with them all, it's not the same.

I don't make friends easily. And I only truly get along with people who are a certain type of quirky; college was the first time, in my entire life, that I actually 100% fit in with a group of friends and didn't still feel like I was alone and on the outside. Now I'm back in my hometown where no one is like me and I don't truly fit in, so it's pretty much certain I won't make friends here. Going to work is the closest I've come to hanging out with friends in about 9 months (my bosses and coworker are all my age). But none of them have ever asked me to do anything outside of work.

Family only goes so far; you can only get so much out of saying "my mom loves me"--especially since you know family HAS to love you, rather than knowing friends or a significant other love you because they truly like you as a person--and face it, I'm not going to go out for drinks with my mom or my grandma or something. So yes, I feel very alone.

I'm much in the same boat, really. After I left college I moved back "home" to a place where I never felt at home. Most of my friends were scattered about the country and while I like my co-workers, I generally don't hang out with them outside of work. So to keep myself busy, I went back to school and finished my degree.

Going back to college was definitely the best thing I've ever done. It made this city seem slightly less awful and I met some great people. Best part yet: Now I can move to a city that I actually like!

After 3 marriages totaling up to 36 years, I'm finally
"single" again (widdowed by last marriage) and have "no idea" what today's mixed drinks and "pick-up lines" are.... or, where to go to find an age-appropriate "crowd".... I'm currently 57 years old, but look between 37 and 47....
anybody have any "ideas" to "current" mixed drinks and "pick-up" lines?

The hardest thing about being single is no one to discuss your problems with & the thought of loneliness but this of course depends on your choice!!!

The hardest thing I find is that when people are organising a function, they ask "who are you bringing", not "are you coming". It makes me feel like I'm not wanted unless I've got a partner to bring.

Apparently people don't realize how valuable your presence truly is! I say it's time to remind them <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, that's another one. Feeling like the fifth wheel when you're out with people and everyone's attached but you.

I felt a bit weird a few weeks ago when one of my bosses was on vacation so it was just me and my other boss at work...and then a couple times his girlfriend would come over to bring him lunch. It's not like the two of them were all exclusive or lovey-dovey or anything, but I felt weird anyway (esp. since I don't know his girlfriend all that well so I feel a bit uncomfortable around her, and it doesn't help that I also have a bit of a crush on him so that adds to my discomfort around her because I feel guilty or afraid that how I feel will be obvious and [censored] her off).

I mostly just sat there and did my work really quietly, it was probably really noticeable that I wasn't really talking, but I wasn't sure what to say, y'know? I almost felt like I was butting in on something that should be private or something (I usually feel like this when I'm in a situation where there's two people in a relationship and me; my freshman year in college, whenever my roommate's boyfriend would come visit, I'd always go to the library or something because I didn't feel right being there when they were trying to be together, even though my roommate told me "you know, you don't have to leave when he comes").

Having to hunt someone up to help me move a really heavy piece of furniture. (I rearrange my space fairly frequently.)