BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Am I the only one teaching "sir" & "ma'am"

My children are 6, 4, and 2. All three of them call me ma'am. They have trouble remembering to call others outside the home that but are improving.

"Sir" was a hard concept since I am single so there was no man to practice on. But a few years ago I started calling my little gentlemen "sirs" and my daughter "ma'am" and I can see how saying this has now become second nature to them so they reciprocate with saying it as well.

The problem is when other adults say, "don't call me sir...I'm not my dad". My kids are young enough to get confused by this. Doesn't anyone know that "sir" and "ma'am" are salutations of respect? You should be proud to have a child call you "sir".

I also find it funny that when kids say this some assume the parents must be very strict and/or weird. But they don't complain when it is adults using that term of respect.

The newest thing I have been teaching my boys is that they are to stand when a lady enters the room and to pull out their chair.

My ex husband came by to pick up the kids and when my ex's girlfriend was about to open the door my oldest son ran over and said, "Gentlemen open doors for ladies" LOL...he showed up his own dad.

Manners and etiquette are GREAT! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am teaching the same to my 2 and 4 year olds. I am also teaching them to be thankful for things. My 4 yr old has stop saying it all the time, but I am still working on him. My only problem is when people correct my child about it in front of me. I know one person that if he doesn't say it they jump all over him. I think that is just as rude as him not saying it. I am his parent and I will deal with it. This is not a family member or anything. My son holds the door for me too because my husband does it. All this stuff is learned by example. I actually had someone say, "Isn't that cute" about my son saying yes ma'am. I almost replied there is a reason no one wants to be around your child. She has no manners. But didn't.

Oh, my kids know "sir" and "ma'am" as well!

The great thing was, apparently a teenager saw one of our discussions on this matter a couple of months ago, and e-mailed me at my Yahoo address.

She had just moved to the South, and saying "sir and ma'am" had not been big where she had moved from but was where she lived now. So she wrote to ask my advice on this, because her parents had never really used it either. I thought it was great!

But I have to admit, it does freak me out when our Youth Pastor at church calls me "ma'am". He's 25 and I'm 35, but it's just the fact that he is a pastor! A pastor should not be calling me "ma'am"- that just feels wrong! <img src="/images/graemlins/tongue2.gif" alt="" />

Fantastic! My mother taught us that way and I am training the little one to be a gentleman

We teach manners at home and my son's school includes manners in its good citizenship curriculum.

When my son lapses on the sir/ma'am issue, we simply let him know we cannot hear him. He instantly remembers to add in the sir/ma'am the next round so that mom/dad will be sure to hear him.

If you're looking for a good basic book for children, I like "May I? Please? Thank you!" by Joy Wilt Berry. If you can find it!

My family is from the south originally so we're big on manners. Children in my family aren't allowed to say "Yeah" to an adult, but have to say "Yes".

I think it just really boils down to family values. If a family values the respect issue between adults and children (amongst children for that matter), then you'll see their children being courteous.

All of my children learn to say sir and mam from the beginning of life.

Back when my children were younger I always told myself my children would learn two thing if nothing else from me...to say excuse me and thank you.

I cannot tell you how aggrivating it is to be int he grocery store looking at something and when someone wants to get by, instead of saying "Excuse me" they just stand there and huff and wait.

meg

I don't huff, but if it is an elderly person, I usually wait until they notice me. I don't like to rush them. Sometimes I will say excuse me, but if I am not in a hurry, I just give them a minute to get their stuff. I hate huffers too.

Just a little "excuse me" so they will move a second so you can get by, is that so hard to do? LOL

and let's not talk about manners while waiting in line <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

meg

I will say excuse me if I am trying to get by, but if they are blocking something I need to get, I will wait a minute. (didn't explain myself right) I hate it when people push me out of the way while I am trying to pick out stuff. I usually smile. I think that makes a difference because they know I am not trying to rush them or be rude. I also hate it when I say excuse me and people act like I am being a burden because they are hanging out on aisles and talking. Walmart here is a social place, not for shopping.