BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships I don't get it...

Here is something that had been bothering me. Why is it that women are attracted to aloof A#*holes. I'm one of those pathetic nice guys that girls view as pushovers...wimps whatever. I'm dating this girl and I'm trying to throw on a facade that I'm hyper-masculine. I show up to dates ten minutes late, don't always call her back, and act like I have the sensitivty of a brick...and she loves it. Its killing me though. I really like her, I want to call her everyday and talk to her on a deeper level. But from past expirence as soon as I do that I become an uninteresting pansy. I don't understand why women are attracted to insensitive idiots, and I feel like an [censored] trying to be one.

I dont get it either.. haha... i think im sorta on the same boat as you. I thought it was a girl thing but i guess it could happen to guys too. I agree with you. i sometimes just want to talk to the guy i love and be with him 24/7 and talk about deeper stuff... So i dont know. I really think depends on the person though, not all woman are like that... i mean if you guys are pretty close then i think there's nothing wrong to talk serious. But if you guys just started dated and you want to talk about living together and all that jazz... it'll definately scare her away.

YOu sound like a real sweeitie and the woman who ends up with you will be a very lucky woman indeed.
I dont think you should ever deny who you are....

good luck nice guy - you WILL get your princess....

I think that whole theory is a part of human nature. I know that my past relationship I was retarded in love and I put up with ridiculous behavior. I'm finally out of that relationship (still retarded cause i'm already in another one) but it is different this time. He is really, really, good to me and I love? him, but the way I act towards him sometimes is new to me cause I've never been treated nicely. I find myself being a real [censored] when he doesn't even deserve it. I sometimes feel like I don't even want to be with him and then he'll be a little bit of an [censored] and my feelings grow stronger!! It is a sick fact, that it works that way. My advice to you is this though. You don't want to fake who you are. You never know she might like you being how you really want to be. Just make sure you give her her space, and remember, absence makes a heart grow fonder!!

I think we are attracted to the opposite of us...

Both of my daughters seem to pick big losers....so I don't get it either!!

I would hope that men can be firm and stand up for themselves without being a*******s. Good men, nice men, sometimes don't stand up for themselves and they lose. I ended what I now think might have been a workable marriage because my husband didn't call me on bad behaviour. I am ashamed of that time of my life but can only say that I think I wanted evidence that he cared enough to fight for me. He didn't and I left. I am pretty sure that if he said, "Hold on. You cannot and will not treat me so disrespectfully. I love you and care for you and want you in my life, but not if you are going to continue doing what you are doing." Since he did nothing, and said nothing, I lost respect for him (what man would take that???) and that is always the final nail in the relationship coffin for me. So my advice is to be the good kind loving man that you want to be - ensuring you are not tooooooo cloying or smothering, and don't put up with any [censored] that disses you for being who you are. Tell her if she's smart she'll recognize a good thing when she's got it. If not, tell her she doesn't deserve a man as good as you. You go guy!

LOL! Don't buy the party line of jerks like Tom Leykis who proposes running games on women and treating them like dirt.

I love my husband BECAUSE he treats me like a goddess.

Yesterday we went to a fabulous outdoor garden. We found a flower on the ground and were taking it out when we were told we had to leave it. No problem.

But this morning in bed he told me that he took away the most rare, most beautiful flower from there. Me. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> He does all the dishes in the house, cleans up for me (we both work), and goes out of his way to bring me gifts and flowers. This is after 5 years of being together too.

Everyone tells me 'he's a keeper', and it's true. All women would love to be treated like a goddess, and they should. <img src="/images/graemlins/queen.gif" alt="" />

you are very lucky horsecrazygirl!! I am married to (actually separated from) a total jerk. He comes from a rich family and has been spoiled and "GIVEN" everything he ever wanted in life. Never had to work for a darn thing. So, when we got married he just assumed we would have the pefect marriage and that he would be the perfect husband and father..all without working for it. Nothing comes without work. Even though he can afford it he had never given me any Christmas/Birthday or Anniv. gifts. I'm not materialistic... a hand written card would have meant the world to me... but nothing. The worst was a few years ago.. I got a great idea for a gift for him for fathers day. It envolved quite a bit of work and preparation on my part that started in January. He knew I was planning something and made several comments that "that's okay... cause just wait til you see what I have planned for your birthday!" In the beginning I thought, "yeah, sure." based on his past performaces. But as the time went on and he kept it up, singing his praises on: How great of a husband he was for what he had planned, etc.. I thought "maybe he really is going to do something special." Anyway, On Fathers Day I gave him my heavily thought inspired and work/cost invested gift much to his delight. Once again I heard. "This is great... but just wait til you see what I'm getting you for your birthday." (BTW. My birthday is about a month after Fathers Day). Anyway, the big day came and ... you guessed it.. nothing. I even ended up making dinner for us that night. I was crushed.

He never helped me around the house, or with the kids. His parents gave him a business that I RAN for HIM, (he got all the pay and all the credit, but I did all the work).

You are very blessed! I know there are guys like yours out there. I've seen them. Someday I'll find my... or maybe I won't. But at least I'm not hardened thinking my jerk is the way its suppose to be. It's a circumstance I brought upon myself.

Advise that I'm TRYING MY DAMNEST to live by is "YOU CAN NOT CHANGE WHAT YOU TOLERATE". Ill let you know how it works. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

too many people are looking for miss or mr right!
the answer is to stop looking and just get on with your life because they turn up from nowhere when you least expect it! if someone had told me in 2004 that within 6months i would be happily married i would have laughed in there face! yet here i am 2006 happily married to mr right.
always be true to yourself if people dont like you for who you are then they are not worth being with!!