I inadvertantly had a situation occur where My then 10 year old was present during an IEP. I won't go into all of it, but I was basically "railroaded by the then resource teacher and councelors to have a meeting, "since I was there." The original purpose of the visit had been planned and stated as a rehearsal for my daughter to eet the teachers and see the classrooms where she would be for fifth grade.
As the meeting progressed (against my repeated expressed concerns about not being notified, nor accompanied by a mentor or prepared with materials at hand.) My daughter became very aggitated and finally asked to leave the room to sit in the hall. She gets very distressed when the subject of her aspergers comes up. I think it will be a long time coming before she is ready, if ever.
Individual kids are all different. How does your son feel about what he has? Have you involved him in the planning for treatment with his doctor (We do ask Melinda for her input with the doctor --It is all about how she FEELS) Ask if he wants to participate, and make sure he has an idea what the meetings are like. If he seems to WANT TO then he may be ready. If he really doesn't have an interest, then you may end up having to deal with a really bored kid, or worse an upset one, during an important meeting.
I hope all goes well with your IEP's. I have found that our system isn't very forth comingin helping or being helpful. I have had to fight for every little thing. Even a set of books were denied my child, until I got a mentor through the Parent training and learning center, run through Our autism advocacy group.
It turns out all states are required to have some sort of traing center for parent to learn how to handle IEP's. The hard part will be finding where your's is. I had to do a lot of serious detective work to find ours.
Sincerely, Ginger.
