BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships I'm the OTHER Woman

I know a lot of women see me as a predator, but that is not it is at all. I met my boyfriend 17 years ago. He was already in a long-term married relationship. I made it clear to him them that he should not leave her, and that I did not want him to leave her, I was an independent woman, I did not want to have to cook for him, wash his clothes, clean-up after him etc. Now 17 years later, I am starting to feel differently, I do now want him to leave her and be with me. I do not know how to approach the subject. Any suggestions?

HOW? single choice

What to do (14%, 1 Votes)

What??? (86%, 6 Votes)

Total Votes: 7 Voting on this poll ends: 04/20/06 12:55 PM

You may just want to ignore my post, because I doubt I'm going to say anything you like at all.

You see, I was left for another woman, so I'm having a real hard time being completely level-headed right now, but I'm trying.

First off, you should not have gotten into this relationship in the first place. Oh well, too late for that. Quite honestly, if you and this man having been going behind this poor woman's back for 17 years - he's not going to leave her no matter what you say. He's quite happy the way he is. Why spoil a good thing.

I think you both would be doing her a favor if he did come clean, divorce, and marry you; because he has been so completely dishonest with her, her life has been an entire lie for 17 years.

Are there children involved? I would think they would have to be near grown (at least). If so, they can handle it.

Tell him 17 years is long enough to live sneaking around and lying. I doubt it will do any good. Or you could always go to the wife and spill it to her. After she dumps him, maybe he'll run to you.

I"m not sure I've ever understood why a woman wants a man who cheats on his wife. Surely you understand that if he will cheat on her, he will also cheat on you. He will never be yours for real. You know what kind of man he is; He isn't a man you can honor and trust.

If he's incapable of being honorable, consider being so yourself. Get out of this relationship and look for someone who is single.

It's too late now... You've been giving him the milk for free now for so long that he just EXPECTS it now...Why shuld there be any standards with you now.... If you press him now he'll just drop you for someone else. He's already been cheating on you with his wife for years.

I suggest you end it and find yourself a respectable relationship with a man who is available to give you everything you want and deserve. Join the real world, where people need real relationships which are balanced by real love and devotion and commitment. After all, isn't that what's been missing for so long now? Someone to hold you when you didn't realize you needed to be held?

KARMA - that is all I need to say....Now suck it up.

First of all, I agree that KARMA will come back to haunt you in a bad way. I was involved with a married man and was the OTHER woman, too, and I think I am paying for it dearly now in my own marriage. I am married, and my sex life with my husband SUCKS. We have been married for what will be 4 years next month, and we barely have sex and are now having marital problems around this. Can't be nothing else but karma.

Second, I also agree that you shouldn't have gotten involved with a guy whom you knew was married in the first place, and RIGHT NOW, you need to separate yourself from this loser, find an UNATTACHED, AVAILABLE man and get on with your life!

Whilst I am making no comment with regard to subject matter, I would just like to point out that Karma is not punitive.... The karma we get may be as a result of previous actions, but it is not intended as retribution....
Whatever comes to us, just "is".... how we deal with it, evolves our Karma... it is known as Karma-Vittaka... Cause and effect... Not cause and judgement.

Sorry.... Just feel I had to clarify that one.... <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Believe me Alexandra Karma does exist while I respect your opinion I have to agree to disagree with you.Karma ALWAYS gets you in the end - I have seen it to much to think otherwise.

My belief is that Karma is "The Law of the universe"

ITA. Basically, what comes around goes around.

Yep spot on!