I've tried but nothing works.
I did have a great article about it once though.
The old woman next door has owned her house since before I was born. Her house isn�t like anyone else�s house, because it�s really old, and has a tower. The siding is badly weathered, and there is a tin patch on the roof. Once, my mother sent me over to her house with a piece of mail that got delivered to our house by mistake. Just when I got up on the porch and were about to put it in her box, she came out and grabbed my wrist and wanted to know "what you thought you were doing" with her mail. When I told her that my mother sent me over because the postman dropped the letter in our mailbox by mistake, she got this crazed look in her eyes, tightened the grip on my wrist, and said "we'll see about that." Then she let go of my wrist and disappeared inside. After that, if I found any of her mail left by mistake, I just threw it away, because I didn't want to have to deal with that crazy old woman ever again.*
*forget about this
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