BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids WHY does being CF PISS people off?

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"Hate" is a very strong word.... within all of this, we have to remember that whatever the intentions of people may be, as judged by others as misguided or wrong, they are intentions nevertheless... the "innocent" parties in all of this, are the children...
Whilst we may consider what these people do as being intrinsically wrong, from their perspective, (which is usually to them, a deep bottomless pit with no way out) there is no other choice to them.... They are driven by desires that take time to overcome....
They are driven by desires which, they feel, if they could be accomplished, would then bring them happiness...; even though they follow signposts marked "despair"....
People from all and any walks of life deserve, depend on, and need our Compassion.
They have none of their own, you see....?

Hi Laura. My husband and I can completely relate. We have over the course of our nine-year marriage lost most of our �couple friends� to kids. We are happily child-free (by choice) and have no desire to spend our free time with kids. It is a real testament to how strong a friendship is if it can withstand the declaration �No kids allowed�! My husband and I try to involve ourselves in activities that are void of children and in doing so we�ve met other CF couples. We�ve met other couples by checking out the live entertainment at the local coffee shop, going to wine tasting events and even during ballroom dancing lessons.

Thanks Lacey...those are great ideas. We have been trying to get involved in different activities that are child free! By the way..sorry everyone that my last message posted three times! I didn't think it was going through..at least my point came across! Now onto another subject..has anyone seen the new Britney Spears tribute to pro-life statue?? If not check out bumpwatch.com..it is easilly the most vile thing I have ever seen!

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Thank you freespirit... I'll now have to go back and edit MY post....!!
The blindness of other human beings to the consequences of their actions, frustrates me too, because they live in a blinkered, materialistic world where they believe that the only effect of their actions will be (1) immediate and (2) to themselves alone.
Everything we do is like a pebble thrown into a pond...it ripples outwards and causes movement and destabilises things...when you consider hiow many people are throwing pebbles...!!

It all counts.
Everything we think, say and do, causes a movement of energy, however subtle and unseen...
so whilst I perfectly understand that you may feel animosity towards these people, they are simply just like you and me.... if they were a victim of an accident, lying in the road, in need of help, you wouldn't stop and think,
"now, is this one of life's leeches? Do they deserve my help?"
No. You'd help, because as a human being, that's what you'd do for someone in need.
They are where they are because faced with choices, they made them.
they may well be wrong, misguided and selfish. But they are just as subject to suffering and sadness as anyone else.
You're not punished for your anger... you're punished BY your anger....

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I agree freespirit. I see this every day and these people (most of them ) know what they're doing. They are very manipulitive. Granted, they all have had bad upbringings, or just the opposite, parents who have coddled them to the point they know they will always have someone to bail them out. In the end the kids suffer, and the childfree are the selfish ones? Anyway, lets not just talk about the sluts, it takes two to tango and there are plenty if not more deadbeat dads out there.

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Show me one single person out there whose adversity is completely, singularly and solely their fault.





I find this section to be so distressing that I cannot comprehend it....
Ypu have stated that you have a deep interest in discovering more about Buddhism. You have posted in the Higher Power' Thread, as follows....

" I am sure our higher power(whatever that is) just want us to live life to the full and just treat our fellow man with love dignity and respect."

...and now you express your anger in such a virtiolic way -
Compassion, Tolerance and Love have to be unconditional. They are not selective.
In order to cultivate Unconditional Love and Universal Compassion, we of course have to start with ourselves....
But it has to be given freely, right across the board.
And if you used to be a counsellor for people like these, surely you must understand the fear, pain and terror these people have had to go through.....? You must have seen for yourself the very depths these people fell to...
there are many who have turned their lives around... But there are many more who still, whatever they may do, need, and deserve our Compassion, Love and forgiveness. Not because they might ask for it, but because, as sentient beings caught in the perpetual cycle of Samsara, they have a right to it.
Just like you. Just like me.

Just because a person makes a bad choice, it doesn't make them a bad person... Once upon a time, they were cradled in loving arms, and were innocent of anything.... there is an essence in everyone that still has a heartbeat, and is still that way....it deserves to be seen, recognised and respected. Regardless.
Unconditionally.