BellaOnline Forums Travel and Culture African-American Culture Hard To Find Black Female Friends

Hello,all. I'm new to the forum and wanted to ask a this question: Are any other black women having a very hard time finding and keeping black female friends? I know I am!

I'm 32 years old, married, no kids, and I live in Minneapolis. I feel by living here the odds are kinda stacked against me anyway (when it comes to making black female friends), but goodness knows, I have tried. It is sooo difficult!

Thoughts?

Is it difficult to find or maintain black female friends?

I have struggled with this in the past but I have come to the conclusion that there are not many black women in my area that share the same interests as I do. Fortunately, I do have one good black friend who "gets" me and she is my sister for life. I know what is like to want someone who understands my culture. However, don't limit yourself - there are some wonderful women of different cultures who may not understand where I've been but understand where I'm going!

I have experienced that as well here in my area and it is frustrating for me as all get out! BUT I've recently gotten into roller skating and there is an R&B nite on Wednesdays that I'm seeing a regular crowd of black folks (male & female) that I'm starting to network with so hopefully some friendships can come up from that?

Alot of women also find black friends in church.....what about that?

At least for me, it has been difficult to find and maintain black female friends. I have had several over the past few years, but these I am no longer friends with them. I do have one black female friend and a white female friend, and that's it. I have no problem making female friends with a white woman, but it seems to be the hardest tyring to get a sistah circle going or what-have-you. I tried to keep a sistah circle/book club going for sistahs where we would read only black authors, and that failed miserably. So, I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or maybe the sistahs with whom I would like to make friends do not feel the same about me or maybe it's just where I live (Minnesota).

Funny you wrote about roller skating because there is an R & B night at one ofhet roller skating joints here on Thursdays. Maybe I need to check it out once and see what it's about.

I haven't been to church in 3 years or so, but when I did attend, I'll just write that I felt I didn't fit in and wasn't received as well as I would have liked to have been by most of the other black women there.

The older I get the harder it is for me to maintain friendships. We all have jobs, and children, husbands or significant others...it's hard to find time for "me". I do however think it is important for women to spend time with other women and keep their identity. As rewarding as being a mother or wife can be, we have to find time for our girlfriends too, but that is easier said than done.

When I saw this topic I thought I would find a solution, but I didn't. That's because there isn't one. I currently attend school at an HBCU and have the same problem. Black females get hung up on immature issues fed to us by mainstream society. We also tend to let other things get in the way and sometimes we just don't have the time or the energy to actively seek female companions. And let's face it, building meaningful friendships doesn't happen overnight. Oh, but I have hope:)

I understand how you feel. I have experienced the same problem at one time in my life. But I joined a black women's organization and that helped a lot. And also... as someone else here advised you to do -- I stopped worrying about the race of my women friends and decided to simply look for our common interests etc. You might be surprised how many women of other cultures might have similar feelings, hobbies etc. I recently had that experience, when a white online friend of mine came to visit. I got along better with her than I do with some of my black friends. We had a fantastic time!

My daughter sometimes has problems maintaining friendships since she started her own business a few years ago. Her company (Jahqoi) takes up a great deal of her time. But that's how it is when you're an entrepreneur. I've told her that I'm sure she'll have more time for friends as things improve and she isn't doing so much of the work herself.

Hello everyone. I'm new to the forum and I totally agree with everyone's comment on this very important topic. I have realized their are alot of African American women who are are seeking to build new friendship, and finding it a difficult task.

A year ago, I started a group called Sistahs In Unity. Sistahs In Unity is a group of African American women becoming empowered through education, resources and networking. We are united in friendship and sisterhood. We meet at least twice a month for social, business and community service events. Our goal is to become empowered and help build unity in our community.

If your interested in starting a chapter in your state, feel free to contact me at SistahsInUnity@aol.com.

Thank You
Alexis

Greetings, Alexis! We're glad to have you here!

I'd like to suggest you hide your email address though - showing email addresses in forums is probably the #1 way spammers get you and start bombarding you. Instead, ask people to PM you which is completely safe and secure.