BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image Do you have an eating disorder?

Ever wonder if your eating habits count as a "disorder"? Any time you're turning to food out of something other than hunger, it's worth examining your motivation. Do you eat when you're bored? Lonely? Depressed? How does it make you feel after?

I have Anorexia... I've had it for almost 13 years. I almost died about 3 years ago when I hit my low weight of 64 lbs (I'm 5'4"). I went into a treatment center in Utah at that time (I've got an extensive list of treatment centers that didn't do a darned thing, but this one in Utah I liked). I'm now up to a "normal" weight (and not happy about it) and am struggling. Everyone keeps trying to convince me that I'm doing great, but they don't know what's going on behind the scenes...


Bjork

Hi, Bjork.

Thanks for your post. I'm sorry you're struggling, but it sounds to me like you're doing a good job of self-care, even if you're not entirely happy about things. I think this is one of those areas where it's helpful to focus on action, and count on the good feelings eventually following. Stick with your program. It sounds like it's working, and you're good inspiration to girls who are still afraid to reach out for help.

Would you mind sharing the name of the program you found helpful?

Keep up the good work, and let us know how you're doing.

Hi Bjork

You are really doing very well if you are maintaining a normal weight. It takes a while to re-adjust your self-perception & recognise that this normal weight is not fat, but healthy and attractive.

I work for Eating Disorders Association UK as an associate trainer & know that recovery is a process that can seem hard- but most anorexia sufferers DO recover & go on to have healthy lives.

Here's the EDA site for anyone who needs more information.
www.edauk.com If you are a sufferer in the UK then the helpline provides useful support too.

I wish I knew. When I am stressed out or anxious I can't eat and it makes me feel better at times like those to think about calories and how much weight I can lose in a certain amount of time. I lost a lot last year, I stopped getting my period too, but I've been doing better lately. I'm worried about myself, although i am really just average weight, not that skinny. Thinking about gaining weight terrifies me, and eating around others makes me quite anxious, but I seem okay sometimes, so I really don't know. I'm worried and confused.

Hi, Guitarpixy.

Trust your instincts.
You say you're worried, you stopped getting your period, that eating around others makes you anxious. It sounds to me like there's something going on with your eating habits you don't feel very good about. If this wasn't cause for concern, well, it wouldn't concern you.

I think the good news is that you are concerned -- you want to take care of yourself and you know that's not always happening now. Rather than wondering whether or not there's a problem, why not act as if you're sure there is? That way you can move from worry to taking action.

Read everything you can about eating disorders, and see what you can learn that you can apply to your life. Make enjoying food in a healthy way (especially around others, which can be a joy) a goal. Realize that it is possible to enjoy food, to provide your body with the nutrition it needs and to do so without getting fat.

And let go of any shame you may have attached to this. All of us have issues to deal with -- it is human nature, not something to be embarassed by. I find that the process of working through difficult issues, while not always fun, can also hold some surprising gifts in the things we learn about ourselves. We are interesting, complex creatures, and the doors that lead us inward are opportunities for learning.

Let me know how you're doing!

I have though about whether i have an eaing disorder. I binge eat like crazy all th time and the only reason I dont throw it up is because I cant, i have tried to stick my fingers down my throat but it doesn twork.I want to lose weight but I keep on eating and I dont know why

Hi, Katie.

It's good that you're not able to induce vomitting. Right now, it sounds like you're struggling to cope, still figuring out why you're binge eating to begin with. The vomitting might just prolong that process, not to mention all the horrible physical ailments that eventually develop from it.

Stop right where you are and try to sort out the whys of overeating. There are many many reasons people binge, but it's almost always an activity in place of something else they want but either don't know how to get or feel they do not deserve.

Maybe you feel rejected, lonely, bored, unworthy or dissatisfied with some part of your life. If you pay attention to what you were thinking and feeling just before a binge started, you may begin to uncover clues to the real problem.

Life's problems aren't going to be resolved the minute we recognize them, but you cannot even begin to give yourself what you need if you don't know what that is. And, of course, you will begin to see that there is a problem and food is not going to resolve it. Instead, you will be adding a different (and distracting) problem. This in itself can be a way of burying the true issue to begin with because we become so focused on eating and weight. You don't have to know the answers to begin working on the problem, but you do have to get to the root of it.

I read your other post as well and, as it is similar, I'm responding to them both here. Until you're able to make some progress in the discovery stage of this problem, there is action you can take that might make you feel better in control.

Get rid of all the junk food in your house. It doesn't mean you can never have it again, but when you're dealing with this issue, certain foods can actually cause a binge. Chances are you're not binging on tomatoes even if you have an entire drawer of them. Don't allow the trigger foods in your house for now.

Next, start journaling. Write down every sad, angry, happy, scary thought or feeling you have. Write down when you eat and how you felt. Write down what you did during the day. It is a relase and can help you learn about yourself.

I would also suggest some books on the subject. I like Geneen Roth's many books on emotional eating.

Thanks for sharing. It's a sign you're already feeling brave!

Thanks for your advice!I really appreciate it I know getting rid of all the junkfood in the house would definetly be a solution to my problem because if it's not there, I wont eat it. Howver I live with my family, two brothers in their early tweenties and the cuboards are always full of junk, i cant stop them from eating waht they like just because I cant control myself. I have started taking Xantrax weight loss tablets,they help me feel full and stop me over eating.