BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage Im 16 and have just lost my baby

I've just turnt 16 and i found out i was 10 weeks pregnant. I started bleeding and i had to go for a scan at the antenatal clinic and they had trouble getting a clear view of the baby and offered me an internal but i refused as i was scared and bleeding at the time. I had to have a blood test today and the nurse phoned me and apologised before telling me id had a miscarriage. I've only known a couple of hours now but i'm really sad. I would like another baby but i have no partner but i'm ready for a baby and i think at the moment it would make me happy and would sort my life out and i would love and care for my baby so much. I've had a past history of depression and self confidence issues but i feel it's time for me to have a baby. What should i do? I don't want to wait. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I think a lot of young woman have the urge to have children when they are young and that is because of our changes in hormones as we develop...but why rush into having to take care of another person. You are so young, and have the whole world in the palm of your hand. Having a baby cannot fill the void that you are feeling in your life, you have to be happy with yourself. I recommend going and talking to someone and finding out what it is deep down inside that is making you unhappy, before jumping into parenthood. There are a lot of rewards in being a mother, but it is a lot more work than you think, or even could imagine.

When I was 16 I thought that a baby would make me happy, fortunately I didnt have kids until I met my husband, and I was able to accomplish many things in life, that if I was to have a baby at a young age I wouldnt have met, or struggling to meet.

Accomplish your goals now before you are fully responsible for another person. Talk to someone professional about your depression and why you feel so low about yourself. Find that inner happiness.

Wish you the best of luck.

Please remember that we pass our problems on to our children. This is not to say that we shouldn't have children unless we fix all our problems first, but at least we should give ourselves time to grow as women. You've only just become a woman. You don't have enough experience as a woman to know how it feels just yet and how to love yourself. I would really hope that you could get yourself some psychological help about your depression and self-confidence issues before you think about having another child. You've just suffered a great loss and on top of your other issues, the last thing you need to do is add the stress of taking care of another human being while you're still suffering. Many women all around you go to counselors and try to sort out their understanding of themselves and how to improve their lives, including myself. Psychological help is not for freaks. It's for people who love themselves and want the best for themselves.
Good luck to you dear.

I am not sure what you should do, I think waiting is the best thing. You are young and have so much ahead of you. What you do is your choice, but at least give your body time to heal. You should get active at school or something. Kids are a lot of work. Just be young and then when you are ready have kids. A kid will not help with your self esteem or anything else. If you have depression you should be on something and maybe get into counseling. That is what I am trying to do. I am so sorry for your loss I know exactly how you feel. If you ever need anyone to talk to just email me or whatever. We all need someone to talk to sometimes, you know??!! Take care of yourself.

I would like to address the issue of depression.

I too, suffer from clinical depression, and have been under treatment for it for about 4 years now.

Often pregnancy and the hormones that go with it, and the changes in hormones and the sleep cycle once the baby is born worsens depression. It did so with me. With my last child I scared my husband horribly one day when the baby was crying and I just couldn't take it. I put the baby in his crib, locked myself in the washroom, called my husband on my cell phone and had a complete breakdown. I cried hysterically for 3 hours, unable to stop. Luckily I had someone to call on to come assist me. He came and took Seth out of the house so I could rest.

I was just starting treatment for my depression when this happened and it was this bad. I worry that for you being young, your hormones are still in flux, and could worsen this type of depression even worse. For this reason I would suggest waiting until you are older to try again.

Also, definitely work with your OB and your psychiatrist or Dr. when attempting to get pregnant so that your symptoms of depression can be kept under control. Remember that clinical depression is only partially about feelings, the rest is physical. And a baby is very stressful, and stress can also worsen depression.

http://forums.bellaonline.com/showflat.p...ue#Post22908522

...And yet you have posted in the above thread - today - that you have a boyfriend who regularly has unprotected sex with you, and that you think you are pregnant...
Methinks we have a playful mischievous silly air-head around.....?
Either that, or she needs help..... Big Time.

i am turly sorry for your loss i was 16 when i got pregent for the first time it was hard to go to school and take care of a baby and work but i did it.and i to lost a baby and know the heart break it brings. But do not jump the gun and try to get pregent by just any man wait to have a good man that you know you want to be with and that will want to take care of his child. i know its hard to think of your life with out a baby that you where planing so much for but remember haveing another baby will not replace the one you lost. i hope you find peace. i still miss my little one. you should name your baby and wright a letter leting your fellings to your baby come out find something o remember your baby if you want to thats what i have done it still hurts but i loved haveing my baby inside me for as long as i did and that what i remember being her mom singing to her and parying for her. and thats what you can remember you where a mom no matter how short a time and you are a mom even though your baby isnt here with you. [color:"blue"] [/color]

You are looking for love. At this age look for love in a relationship.