What did the banjo player get on his IQ test? Drool.
How do you get a drummer off your front porch? Pay for the pizza.
What do you say to a guitar player in a three-piece suit? Will the defendant please rise?
How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Five. One. Four. Five. (Okay, that one's a little bit obscure... if you're familiar w/ the folk music numbering system versus solfeggio, you'll get it)
What's the definition of a chamber quartet? A good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about conductors.
If you put a first violinist, a second violinist, a master viola player and a bass player at four corners of a football field and drop $100 in the middle, who will get it? The second violinist. There's no such thing as a master viola player, the bass player won't know what's going on, and the first violinist would NEVER travel that far for only $100.
I could go on and on and on.....
