BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Difficult question for Moms

Hello,

I have a difficult question for Moms. Did any of you have children because your husband wanted them?
I'll explain. I have never really had a strong desire to have children. I always thought "Maybe down the road at some point." (Which is what I told hubby before marriage). We are newly married and my husband has expressed an interest in starting a family in 2-3 years. Therefore, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching as to why I never thought I wanted children. I am starting to think it was because I was raised in a pretty dysfunctional environment and never really saw an example of a well-adjusted, well-behaved child. I really believed all children were out-of-control and just couldn't see why I would put myself through the aggravation. My husband on the other hand grew up in Beaver/Cleaver land and seems to have a very rosy picture of family life. I am starting to realize that both of us are coming from extreme viewpoints and the reality lies somewhere in the middle. So, I am wondering if anybody here had a child/children simply because their spouse wanted one and if so, are you happy with your decision?

Hello:

I will have to say that for many years I did believe I didnt want children. My husband and I had talked about having kids and I said I wouldnt mind having one, but later like around 28-30yrs old. We got married fairly young and 2 years into marriage I found out I was pregnant. I accepted my fate and had twin boys. I was so happy when they were born, and I discovered emotions I never thought I could have for children...they boys are my world. My husband wanted to try for one more, and after many months of talking I decided it was okay to try, we planned the 2nd pregnancy. About 6 weeks before I delivered I found out I was carrying another set of twins...boy/girl...just under a month ago I delivered my 2nd set. I have never been happier, rather tired, but happy. Children are a great joy in your life...if you decide to have children, and if you decide children are not for you, there are many things in life that can make your life full and happy. I am lucky that I instantly gained the motherly insticts, and that I dont regret my choice.

My advise is to make sure you really want to have a child, I dont recommend having a baby because your significant other wants to have a baby. If you succumb to his wishes you have the chance of becoming resentful towards your spouse and your child. I think you and your husband should sit down and really talk about each others feelings regarding starting a family, and if you feel the need talk to a counselor. It is a very important decision, and both parties should be on the same wave length.

I wish you luck in your decision.