BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Does it ever irk you when...

Ok, I was wondering if it's just me, or does anyone else find it rude when people ask why you are not having kids? If it's a close friend or something, I don't mind. However, when perfect strangers ask (or someone I'm not very close to). I find that extremely rude and bold. Just wondering if anyone else finds that annoying?

I think it is a very personal question and it depends on who is asking. I usually don't mind, but I am a very open, chatterbox kind of person! Of course, the tone of the person asking has quite a bit to do with it. Fortuantely, I have never had anyone react negatively to my response that I am not having kids (with the exception of my mom). So, in response to your question- yes I do think it can be rude and bold especially if you just met someone.

next time someone asks, ask them when the last time they had unprotected sex was and with whom and do they intend to have children? or if it is a male ask him when he had a prostate exam and if he enjoyed it? Or a woman ask when she had her last mammogram or pap smear and if she has a male or female doctor and if she ever has sexual thots when she is having it done.
I hate jerks.

I don't care who it is close friend or not it's rude and personal and people just don't think anymore before they blurt that out there. Yes it does bug me! My cousin who has 3 kids just asked me that last week and when I said I was just not ready (that's my answer so I don't have to explain that I don't want any) then her tuned changed to "oh your so smart for waiting I wish we'd a waited before we started having them". It's like misery loves company!!!!

I find that for some reason, co-workers are the worst when it comes to that. It could be someone that I never talk to and they will still ask. I dont get it too bad from them because I'm engaged, not married just yet, but I shudder to think of how it will be after my wedding. Its weird how much they seem to want other people to have kids, considering how much they complain about their own. I'm wondering if I should just tell anyone who asks in the future that I can't have kids, so that they feel bad that they asked. I feel that workplaces in general are very negative towards people without children. Anybody had similar experiences?

Yes, I agree Co-workers are the worst! I have recently started a new job and it is usually the 1st question I get from co-workers after meeting them. My God, some of them don't even care if I am married or not....they just want to know if I have kids. Seems they think it is the most important thing a woman can do with her life so they must know immediately! My boss is obsessed with her child and it is all she talks about....she keeps saying things like "WHEN you decide to have children you'll see..it changes your life." I so badly want to say "Yes, I know that is why I don't want any!"

This bugs EVERYONE, I think, even those of us who will likely have kids someday. We're not even "officially" married because we're too lazy and busy to plan a wedding! We wear rings, but can't be bothered to do anything else. I can't remember basic needs for myself, like dentist's appointments, renewing my driver's license, ordering more contact lenses.... My SO's a musician, so we travel all the time.... our cable and water get shut off at least twice a year, simply because we forget to pay the bills (after a very unfortunate incident involving two weeks away from home and lots of food in the freezer, we've managed to remember the electric bill). We recently got a cat, whom I usually remember to feed (the guy remembers the rest of the time, or at least gets reminded when she meows)....

The point is... Why in the name of all that is sweet and pure would ANYONE think that I should have a baby now? If I managed not to lose the baby (obstacle #1), I could put no guarantees on keeping it healthy for any length of time, especially since I won't remember its doctor's appointments.

Why do people compliment me on my "carefree lifestyle" and say how jealous they are of the fact that all my work is on my terms and I can travel whenever I want... and then ask when I'm having a kid? What don't they get? Baby does not fit in right now, so STOP ASKING!

What really bothers me is asking how old my child is to try and figure out how old you are.