BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Misconceptions & Delusions

Well, isn't it still your personal choice to take birth control?

How about school funding? Should our tax dollars pay for schools?

I understand the direction that you are going with this, but I think there's a difference between prescription drug coverage by an insurance company and paying someone to take a 6 month to 2 year paid vacation. An insurance company's decision to cover birth control pills would benefit the millions of women who use it, specifically to prevent unwanted pregnancies. It also benefits the men who have sexual relations with these women, for the same reason.

Your paid maternity leave benefits you alone, with arguable benefit going to your husband (if you have one) and the baby as well. I'm sorry but I do not see how you can compare taking birth control pills with a long term paid absence from work.

I forgot to respond to your question of taxes to support schools...I say yes, I am ok with helping to pay for public schools, and most CF people I've talked to feel the same. Just because we are choosing to never have children doesn't mean we don't have some interest in seeing to the education of them.

Megan, I absolutally don't want to offend you, but felt I had to point out that most CF people consider CF to be a lifestyle choice, not a temporary state. The term child free evokes a specific decision/belief to not have children, for whatever reason. If you are thinking that you will probably have children in the future, than you are not really CF (in my opinion only--people feel free to set me straight if I've got it wrong!), but merely not yet a parent. Having put a great deal of thought into the decision to be CF, I'm a tad protective of what it stands for--hope you understand.

Thanks for sharing, Kiki, I'm not offended.

However, this forum is called "Married No Kids". That applies to me, as well as you. It should be called "Child Free" if that's the point that's trying to be made. Can anyone suggest another forum for those of us who are happily enjoying our pre-child life and are looking for people to talk to about that? The marriage forum seems to be all old married people, most of whom have children, the romantic destinations forum generally does not have conversations about our type of travel....

Megan--I really didn't mean to imply that you or anyone who fits the bill of "married no kids" shouldn't post here, of course you should, that's what it's for! Sorry if you took it that way. I just wanted to clarify the use/meaning of child free, as you stated that you are for now, but that will probably change.

Gotcha. Thanks for clearing it up!

I personally don't see anything wrong with children attending day care. I attended daycare for a few hours a day but I wouldn't say I was 'raised' in daycare. Most families nowadays need two incomes anyhow. I have more respect for parents who have children in daycare then those who sit on their asses on welfare.

I understand the direction that you are going with this, but I think there's a difference between prescription drug coverage by an insurance company and paying someone to take a 6 month to 2 year paid vacation.

Exactly the point I was trying to make.

Even just regular nonpaid maternity leave isn't quite fair...there aren't many reasons that you could leave your job for months at a time and expect it to still be there when you got back--and why should it be? Why should an employer have to wait around for you, meanwhile either your work doesn't get done or they have to find a temp and hope they're competent?

In fact, the only reasons I can think of that your employer has to hold your job, are things that aren't voluntary (unless you count military service as voluntary, which it pretty much is, as one chooses to sign up)--like illness (which makes me ask...if you get sick in the UK and are out for months, do you still get that time off paid?). But just because somebody decides they want to sprog, their employer has to go through hoops and hold their job open for them? Hell, if I decided I wanted to go and feed starving children somewhere for six months, most employers would say "that's great, but don't expect to come back here when you're done." And that, IMO, is more important than copying one's own DNA, yet it's not protected.

I agree with you. I remember one base we were stationed at...at the store there was only one check-out person. Why? When there were always about thirty people in line?? Well - military wives that knew they just got pregnant would interview for the job (not telling them they were preggers), get the job, and then proceed to take maternity leave not so long after starting. Since the base was in the UK, well - they got to take advantage of the UK laws!!! That happened with every retail outlet on base - lots of employees, but none at work!! They would NOT hire temps or replacements - so we all suffered!!!