BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids CF for the sake of marriage?

Anyone here CF because they know their marriage would not survive the strain of children?

I'm not married yet but will be in May of next year. I have felt the same way you do many times. I know that my marriage wouldn't survive because of the stress of children. Plus, my Fiance really cannot tolerate children. When he sees children act up and act like crazy children, he cringes. My fiance acts like a child also. I don't think I could take on children AND him! LOL! Now I have to figure out how I'm going to tell the rest of the family that children are not in the plans of my fiance's and my future. My Mom understands and so does my fiance's parents and sister. Well, his sister suggests us to adopt. We also aren't having children because of my health issues. I'm thinking that will be the best explanation to the rest of my family. Hopefully, I don't get questioned at the wedding!

Mine and my husband's relationship is AWESOME, nothing could change that, not even children. But I'm sure children would put a strain on our marriage, as it does with all marriges. I've seen great relationships ruined with children, and I don't want to see ours lessen or dwindle in any way.
That is not the reason why I don't want kids, but it doesn't help marriages when you do.
I love the time and attention I get from my husband, I love how close we are, I love our friendship. Children just don't fit into this for me.

That was me, when I was in a relationship. After all the horror stories of people splitting up once the kids move out (I assume because their relationship is based on the kid[s] for so many years that once the kid[s] is/are gone, the relationship is beyond repair), people who have no time to do anything together short of being parents, having conflict because of arguments over the kids, etc. etc. etc....not to mention the fact that yes, I'm selfish and would want to be first in my husband's eyes and would want to put him first in mine, and to be able to spend time with him without some kid butting in....definitely "preserving the relationship" is a big reason to be CF. I valued my ex and our relationship too much to put it in jeopardy with sproglings.

My marriage is awesome, that's why we don't want to mess it up with kids! We've gone through more then most couples our age and keep getting stronger, but we think having kids would ruin what we have together. We've seen too many couples break up once they had kids.

my husband and i also have a very close and strong marriage. i too would not want to mess that up by having kids.i admit that i really wouldn't like the idea of sharing my husband with a child. indigo

Here here! Me too! I'm 39, CF, and I adore my fiancee. I'm so glad we'll never have to share each other with anyone and neither of us have the patience for a kid. We love the US time. We love the time we get to linger in bed together - alone in peace. Being able to spend money on toys, trips and "stuff" on a whim. Being able to pick up and go whenever. If we couldn't do these things and had to sit home with a kid or entertain a kid or focus our relationship around a kid, everything would change. The US time would go away. What a waste.

Hi KidFree,

Please forgive me if this is none of my business...I am just wondering because in this post you say that you are engaged but on the Divorce board, you say you are getting divorced. Are different people posting under your name? Or are you getting divorced and engaged to someone else? Please don't take offense, just curious.
If you are getting divorced, I hope it all works out for you. I know it is a tough situation to go through. Good luck.

No offense taken at all! I guess was jumping the gun a bit - I'll be "officially" divorced within a few months. I am just so excited to be ridding my life of a stagnant aspect and moving on to a more positive life. My soon to be EX is making this divorce so long and drawn out and he's being so lazy about the whole thing, I feel like I've been at it forever. The only thing we ever had in common was that we both wanted to remain childfree.

i've never been married but i have heard that having children inside the marriage can out a strain on it in terms of the sex life, because it will not be the same, but this mostly comes from a man's point of view, it depends on if the two people are actually ready for children, and has wieghed the pros and cons. but if you dont want kids what would be the purpose of his sister wanting you to adopt?