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HI -

I am new to this sight and would like to find out info abt. dating a Polish male. We have a special chemistry, but I would like to know the dating customs of his culture. He has been in this country for approx. 3 years. I am curious about the dating customs and i need to become familiar to avoid misconstruing anything he might do or say. Also, if anyone has any insight into Polish males and what they expect and don't expect.... that would be helpful.

Thx, yve

Hello yve,

Welcome to our forum. There are a few Polish males who post here, so maybe they will have some advice for you. Meanwhile, here are some articles that Jaga wrote about dating. http://culture.polishsite.us/smfamily.html

Nancy

Hi-I think Polish men are lovely-I've been married to one for 8 years! He's from Bialystok and has been in the US for ten years. Although I of course can't speak in generalities, I find he is more open-minded about sexuality than American men, and is less so in other ways-for example, he is uncomfortable about my having male friends. I find him to be somewhat more evolved than his Polish male friends-he chooses to think more progressively about women then they do, for example, and works on being emotionally available. When we were dating I found him to be refreshingly straight-forward, honest, romantic, unpretentious, and charming. I can't really comment on your last two sentences-I don't know what's typical of the Polish male. But I hope yours is as wonderful as mine turned out to be. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wow, prana, that husband of yours sounds wonderful! We should all be so lucky!!

Welcome to our forum!

Nancy

Hello Yve,
I am a Polish man and here's my 3 grosze. If you have good chemistry all will be alright or will break as fast as a glass vase. Some tensions are due to man - woman relation rather then cultural but here's what I can think of:
He might want to see you every day or every second day if you're not ready for that frequency of dates find ways of communicating it to him but withut hurting his feelings. He may not understand why don't you want to be with him intead.
He may think "harrasing" you by frequent calls and dates is to shows that he likes you.
He might leave it up to you how you spend time together so have some variety to offer and do not limit dates to restaurants by no means.
It is likely he will admire your individualism and independence from one hand and enjoy you being natural and femine.
Good luck

Hi Prana and Forza,

maybe you could add a bit more comments about some uniqness of Polish men <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> and we could write an article about it.

The best I could do was this article and I guess this was not poorly written since this article was always at the top of the most popular, but there can be much more to add

http://culture.polishsite.us/art-dating.html
How to Impress Polish Lady on the First Date

I'm a Polish woman married to a Polish man so there hasn't benn any culture clashes between us. If it helps I'll try to say something about Polish men.
That's true they don't like their women to have male friends. Mine wouldn't like that although if I insisted he would have to tolerate it. Try to make your friend his friend.
They are quite flexible and open-minded, I believe they appreciate women who are self confident and independent, not relying on them owith each matter. I'm used to the idea that a woman works, so is my husband, but you may come across some who would like they partner/wife to stay at home.
It's so difficult to say in general, I'll just leave you with one piece of advice - if he shows any signs of being brutal, no matter how generous, apologising he is after a fit of anger, don't believe he'll change. It runs in blood, beware.
Perhaps Polish men are not the most handsome in the world but their sense of humour is something that'll cheer you up in gloomy November nights.

Hi there

I am a apolish male, age 30. My observations are based on my friends, and myself:

- we are open minded,
- we like the woman to be independent,
- as for male friends - there is no problem for me, however in general polish males consider other male as a posible challenger,
- we absolutely don't like women who are talking much about nothing,
- we don't like comparing to other males, unless of course we have the advantage :-)
- we are natural born hunters, women who are too easy to 'score' are considered a bad choice,
- women whe are too hard to conquer, are no good either,
- in general we don't like women who use too much make-up.


When you meet all requirements, you will be treated by you r man as his personal godness.


Greets
Yanc

Yanc, that sounds really good. Perfect piece of advertisement.

How long is it that a man should treat his woman as his goddess? (I must remind it to my husband)

what others have said rings so true with me-especially the comments about brutality-my father is Polish American and unresolved anger does seem to get passed down from father to son. Fortunately my husband addressed this in himself and managed to overcome it. And also the observation about the Polish man calling frequently if he likes you-I encountered this as well. And I found it to be so refreshing after the games American men can sometimes play. And YES-the comment about him treating you like a goddess-also very true!

Hi!
"Perhaps Polish men are not the most handsome in the world.." - what do you mean by that..? <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Polish males are not a homogeneous race which shows the same characteristics, to be put in a seperate specific group: "Polish males."
Polish male culture is open and varied - it makes dating customs as multiple as many males there are.
The Polish male dating behaviour depends on many conditions: his education, religion, wealth, character, humour, upbringing, self-esteem, attitude to women, etc etc etc.

My advice: don`t expect anything special from him just because he is Polish. Males are always males. Treat him like a male, i.e. be cautiuos and don`t believe any of his sweet words.

PS. If you want to keep him for a longer time, you`d better abstain from too intimate relations for a few first dates/weeks/months if possible. He will suffer but will respect you more then. Polish males can be still very traditional, they are fond of women who respect themselves. So, don`t pay attention to his male begging or implorations ha ha ha ha. However, let him know it shall happen in some nearest future, don`t deprive him of this hope. Make it a game in which he feels like a conqueror who must work hard to get his booty. He will appreciate it more.

I think this is a test that wise women should apply on their men. If the latter are willing to undergo it, then it means they are worth something.

About the beauty of Polish men - I mean Polish women are believed to be very beatiful and I have never heard anything like that about Polish men - therefore my comment.
Personally I like more French, Italian, Spanish male beauty type, although my husband is dark blonde with blue eyes.
Now I know - Polish men just are a bit fatter and dress badly - yes, that's it.

Yeah right.

[imageBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

Nobody mentioned yet: some drink too much

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Forza, you are a terrible person, This in deeeed!

I burned the devil out of my lip and lap with spilled morning tea while laughing at your posted photo:

"Nobody mentioned yet: some drink too much".

I am still laughing.... That was so priceless!!!

The cutie on the bottom left corner, nice touch...

Charles

Forza,

I was going to mention that drinking is a problem. I have another question. When I was a relatively young woman in 80-es it is usually the girls who took care of their cloths becuase guys did not care than much, but I heard that this changed a lot. It seems that the young generation of boys (I also observe it in the case of my nephews) do care for their appearance.

Hi Nancy:

Thanks for the info.... i read the articles that Jaga had written and i guess i am a bit concerned b/c i am a woman of color and i don't want to be his experiment. I want to know if he is being charming b/c he really wants to be w/ me or simply needs me to show off.

Thxs, yve

yve,

I think you will have to trust your instincts about this. As someone else said, men will be men, whether they are Polish or American. Don't let anyone take advantage of you.

Nancy

I don`t want to worry you too much but there is a danger he might treat it as an experiment. People of colour are very rare in Poland so having a coloured boyfriend or girlfriend is really something special here. He might feel high of himself having you as a girlfriend. But I can be wrong.



Charming. Yes, that is possibly one trait that Polish males are known for. He opens the door for you, kisses you on the hand, brings little bouquets of flowers on dates, listens carefully to what you say, compliments your beauty etc. And he probably does not press on going to bed on the second date.
Some men do it because they are gentlemen, some do it for practical purpose of winning a woman.

I must disappoint you. Polish men are persistent in their refusal to dress fashionably or at least well. Neither older generations nor younger.

I am an example of it myself. I wear horrible rags. Clean, washed, but rags. Ripped jeans, worn and washed out t-shirts, old jackets. The older, the better. I hate suits, I feel unwell in them. I never wear a tie, even to my teacher`s exams or school formal festivities. Wearing a tie is abominal to me.

Why? Because I don`t care. I wear anything as long as it is clean and not smelly. I have more serious things on my mind than to worry about my clothes.

I think dressing nicely is considered not masculine by Polish men. They don`t want to be looked upon as jolly people who like colourful clothes or something else, close to feminine.

Forza,

Good things come to those who wait!

All I can base my opinion on is my admittedly limited observation of the Polish male in the wild - but I will say this that in general they are MUCH better dressed than those I see everyday here in the States.

Yve talks probably about the article:

Poles and Exotic Beauty Syndrome
http://culture.polishsite.us/art-egz.html

I wrote this article on demand, somebody asked me and I also heard about a couple of different situations, this is a warning for all women of color about Polish guys <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hi there

Zooba: until the warranty is worn off. It means about 5 to 8 years <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Yanc

PS. On November 7 was my 7th marriage anniversary, and I stiil treat my wife as my personal goddness.

Yes, Jerzy i will agree w/ u, he is not a GQ (Gentlemen's Quarterly) dresser. Often, i might see him in the same clothing he had on a few days ago, although they are neat and clean. It does not trouble me since I am not very fashion conscious. But he is Adorable to me in any event.

I will try to probe to find out if i am an experiment for him and if so - this is unacceptable and i will address it. I refuse to be a trophy.

And in reference to the sex, he has not pressed the sex either. He does not appear to be assertive in that way. Although i wonder what is he waiting for b/c usually men try to get those panties rather quickly.

Your advice has been very helpful!!!

Blessings, yve

A few days ago ha ha ha. That is not bad.
I myself have two favourite comfortable checked shirts and I wear them in turns through fall and winter time. So in my case it`s weeks or even months ha ha ha.




You should also try to find out if by any chance he has a family back in Poland. In Jaga`s article there is a mention about temporary affairs of Polish people who go to the USA, stay for a year or two, earn money and all this time live with an unlawful partner. Then they come back to Poland to their wives and husbands.

When in the US, I saw many relationships like that. Those people even went to church together. Unbelievable!



If he hasn`t pressed, it is quite a good sign. There is probably nothing wrong with him in physical context, nor mental.
He just treats you as a very righteous, decent woman to whom he cannot propose sex, at least not after a relatively short acquaintance. He probably thinks of you as a princess who deserves gentlemanly treatment. In his opinion proposing sex could hurt your feelings.

Is he religious? Even a little? Many Polish guys have this nice syndrome to treat women as Blessed Virgins. It is a result of Catholic religion and of a very high esteem in which Jesus` Mother is held in Poland.

I wasn`t kidding with the concept of Blessed Virgin. There might be a grain of truth in it.

I thought it over and recalled the dark face of God`s Mother, known in Poland as Black Madonna, from the most famous painting of her in Czestochowa Monastery. She was named the Queen of Poland long ago (in 17 century) and since then has been treated with reverence which probably equals that given to Jesus Christ.
She is also called Our Lady. The replica of the painting has also been put in Manhattan`s St. Patrick`s Cathedral what makes the church visited by thousands of Poles in NY.

http://www.marypages.com/Czestochowa.htm
http://www.christusrex.org/www1/apparitions/pr00002.htm


PS. It is known as the Black Madonna because of the soot from candle light smoke which discoloured the painting over the centuries.

An Indian painted an image of the Virgin in the garb of the Mexican goddess Toxantzin,and miracles were attributed to the portrait.
The Franciscan bishop,Zumarraga,was an Erasmian who disparaged the popular enthusiasm,saing,''Seek not miracles.The greatest miracle on earth is a Christian life.''
But miracles multiplied.
The legend grew,and popular piety at last received ecclesiastical recognition.

That was :The cult of the Virgin of Guadalupe -year- around
1541,

Hey Jerzy and other respondents:

Yes, actually he does have family in Poland and family in the States. He plans to go back home (Poland) in the Spring 2006. I am not sure if he is a religious person... this topic has not come up yet.

Question: I know that someone earlier had stated that some polish men are very blunt and get to the point (unlike some American men whom do not like to divulge their emotions). Well, how should i respond to one that tells me that he is extremely fond of me perhaps even loves me. Since he stated this, he has been elusive and i wonder if he feels embarrassed by his comments which i really could not take seriously at this point since i consider him to be a friend.

A bit perplexed!!

Peace, Yve <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

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Allright:) I think the site is certainly worth including on BellaOnline. Or WOULD BE - as when I looked at it, it appeared that it is in Polish only (at least that's what it seems to me).

I think most of the BellaOnline Readers are English speaking (or other language) but no Polish (or speak a little bit of Polish).

That's at least how I see it:)