BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What if you got pregnant?

Heh.. I've had to deal with this 4 times. 3 times I had an abortion, and once I gave it up for adoption.

If it happens again, I will opt for abortion, if it is still legal.

Fortunately, I'm entering perimenopause, so the chances are becoming less (although I plan to continue with an IUD until I am truly postmenopausal).

While I am not sure I could ever have an abortion, I do appreciate the fact that I have that right. IMO, and I realize this sounds harsh, there are too many children on this planet who may have been saved from a lot of pain and abuse had the mother felt she had a choice. And, no, adoption is not always a choice or even the better choice.

You seem concerned over the stress pregnancy has on the body. Abortion also causes stress on the body and mind. When I was younger, I knew several people who had abortions, legal abortions, and twenty years later still have doubts about their decisions, and in one case, true regrets because she cannot get pregnant.

There are no easy answers when it comes to bringing or not bringing a life into this world, which probably the strongest argument for why abortion is a personal choice and should remain so. Too many factors to consider and no two situations are identical.

FYI, when I was your age, I would have had my tubes tied had a doctor cooperated. I'm 40 now and have three children. I don't regret any of them. That doesn't mean you will follow the same path; simply saying life tends to change our views about a lot of things.

I know, there really are a lot of MOM TROLLS here on this "Married No Kids" board, aren't there? And we're talking about the childfree stance on accidental pregnancy and abortion, I don't care to hear some mom's opinion. I also don't care to hear "my kid was an accident but I could never have an abortion cuz it's just not right, I gotta pay the price for my mistake and I love my kid soooo much." These people who think abortion's just "not right" are letting guilt in the way of rational, realistic thinking. But I guess it's ok that in some cases, you got pregnant out of wedlock or it's ok that you'll end up on welfare sucking money from the system that's funded by hardworking people like myself, right? It's my opinion that these women without a clue are just too scared to have an abortion. Get a grip. Think about how your life will be destroyed or changed if you have the kid you really didn't want or plan on having in the first place, think about how your family and friends may react when you tell them you are pregnant but plan to give the kid up for adoption and they then guilt you into keeping the kid you really don't want, think about the torment you'll have not knowing what kind of family it went to OR think about that adoptive family doing something horrible to your kid - that stuff happens every day, or think about how you probably may not have the resources to properly raise a child for the next 18 years or think about how much your child may hate you for giving it up for adoption when it finds out, think about how you'll probably end up on welfare or some other type of public assistance because you can't support yourself and a kid, think about how your career will probably never advance beyond cashiering because you didn't have the time or money to better yourself because you had that kid you just couldn't "kill" to take care of, think about the kid who you "just couldn't kill" turning into a drug abuser, wife beater, slut, murderer, just plain bad person, etc. after raising him/her the best way you could. Abortions aren't for everyone but I don't think a lot of people think beyond the starry-eyed concept that they think they are "killing" something or how life will be wonderful once the baybee actually gets here. There would be fewer babies born on this already-overpopulated earth if people were a little more realistic. Think about how you will raise this kid because you also felt too guilty to give it up for adoption and you were paying the "price" for a mistake you made. Grow up. The kid in the end will suffer with a lousy life.

In the unlikely event that Roe v Wade is overturned in the future, things will just revert to the way that they were before Roe. There was no national law about abortion but each state had its own law. Therefore, when I was young, the unwillingly pregnant could usually cross state lines and have their procedures done safely and legally. Not as convenient, but not a nation of back alley abortions, either. Might help to live in or be close to a blue state.

IF the woman is able to cross state lines, that's fine. What if she can't?

I am CF by choice...
I have had 3 abortions, none within the last 10 years but 2 with my DH...I always felt pressured and controlled when pregnant, and I hate the icky preggo feeling the hormonal stuff etc...gaining weight blah feelings, yuck not for me!

I also knew I could not raise another human and be happy.

I would definitely consider an abortion if I became pregnant right now. I am a die-hard CF and pro-choice. I am all for what is best for the mother. The legality of abortion will not stop abortions. There were abortions before it became legal and there will continue to be abortions if it became illegal (again).
I am looking into the tubal ligation and I am ready for the fight with the doctor and insurance company. I expect the biggest fight from my ob/gyn. I have told her a few times I don't want children, but when I had my UAE a few years ago all she seemed to talk about was that I would still be able to have "little babies" with the silliest grin on her face. Not to mention, she just gave birth to twins so this is going to be a battle royale for sure.
I won't even go into the look my UAE surgeon gave me when I told him the idea of a hysterectomy did not bother me (long story....) He repeated what I said like "you can't mean what you just said." Alas, when will women's reproductive rights stop being questioned.

At this point, I'm a laughably broke college student trying to finish up my degrees. There is no way I could pay to take care of a child. Also, does anyone else notice the irony in people's attitudes regarding abortion? On the one hand, they want you to be pro-life, but on the other they don't care what happens to the kid after it's born...and they CERTAINLY don't want you to be on welfare, either!

(BTW, DST I'm an AKA. It's nice to see someone out of the D9 organizations agrees with me on this. I thought I was the only one -_-!)

Well Hello Morby,
OOP-SKEE to you and it is nice to see another D9 org represented here as well. You are not the only one. But, I can't promise that we are not the only two.....

I wonder has the pro-life group thought about the futures of these unwanted children should something happen preventing access to the abortions. There must be a hidden Atlantis of families waiting to take in these babies/children that only they know about. <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Well, adoption in this country is nearly impossible. It takes several years and several thousands of dollars. It's easier to just get a child from another country, and if the child in question has any type of disease or disability, forget it! The foster system in this country is awful, and the kids get shuffled around from home to home and can only hope for the best. There are so many cases of abuse and neglect from foster families.