BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids please forgive the intrusion but i wanted to say..

Rayvn, i don't understand something and perhaps you can clear this up for me. if my posts here upset/anger/disturbed/whatever so much, why do you take the time to read and reply? it just doesn't make sense to read or reply to a thread that bothers one so much. not a dig,just an honest question.

ophilies, i happen to belong to a very supportive board for large familes and if you had posted the link without the additude i might have said thank you.

this is the saddest thing in the world to me.there have been quite a few nice posts from folks who can and will accept a positive opinion and a handful who can't/won't. how can you (general you to that handful)say you aren't bitter or cold hearted when you act like this to someone trying to say something nice?

it's additudes like yours that make other people (not myself) see you like that. perhaps if you didn't slash at those who are trying to be friendly with you, just because they aren't CF, you wouldn't be viewed as such.

have a nice night,
Dee

oops, double post.

Mama, we're not saying all parents are evil. I believe you when you say that you're understanding of what the CF community goes through. At the same time, we've had to deal with so much negative nonsense from some parents that it breaks the friendly connection between the two groups. But hopefully, we'll get past it.

I think what we should do is just stop and realize that we all want the same thing: happiness and getting along with everyone. Who cares if one has kids or not, right? <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

exactly, my children don't define who i am any more than not have kids defines you. i am an intelligent, caring, person first and mom second (seeing as how i wasn't born a mother).

I agree with Mama whole heartedly. I am supportive of those who are CF, as I once believed that is what I wanted. But for me things changed when I unexpectidley got prego with the twins. Now I have another on the way, but there is still a part of me that wonders what my life would be like without the boys, or this baby on the way...not that I dont love my kids and not happy now that they are here. I think that is why I have been so drawn to this forum.

mama--your posts didn't disturb me at all--atleast I don't think they did. I was not replying to you so much as I mentioned before to the idea that there were alot of parents posting on the forum in inappropriate places--like the other thread about unwelcome pregnancies. You started this thread--it is yours as far as I am concerned. I don't like to argue with anyone on forums. and I think I even welcomed you here didn't I?
sorry if you got the wrong idea.
ok--I went back and read the whole thread and I see the problem--I was not replying to your posts mama--I was replying to mostly kat and others--it does not show up as to who was replying to whom it just lists all the replies under each other.
no I am not upset about anything you might have said mama at all! I just get a little peeved at some people who are so "tolerant' that they believe in nothing and let everyone do whatever they want--which is how some of the posts were coming across (I don't honestly know if the person who wrote them intended them to be like that or not). You know what I mean? Some of these parents are downright terrorists in here! I don't see why we have to put up with that kind of stuff--tolerance is one thing but geesh! don't INVITE vampires into your house! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hi Mama2manykidlets,

I'd like to thank you for your honestly and openess about the issue. So many people try and mask the "bad bits" and find it hard to be honest about what a hard job parenting is so thank you for taking the time out from the kidlets to share your thoughts with us. The only time I think I'll regret my decision is when I'm a little old lady. You'll be surrounded by your children and grandchildren and hopefully your great grandchildren and I'll be eating my pureed alone with no one to visit me. But....in saying that, that's not the reason to have children is it? I appreciate input from everyone on the site regardless if they have children or not, just because you have children doesn't mean your opinion is not valued. It very much is! Even though, you have your hands full now and probably will for some time to come, you'll always be surrounded by people that will lovel you unconditionally and always.
All the best to you busy Mamma!

Dugong

Dugong,
I believe here is just as much chance of you ending up with alot of family & friends around you when you're a little old lady as someone who has had kids. I worry about this as a CFer too sometimes, but then I think of my aunt Loretta.

She is 70 years young and CF. Her husband passed away about 20 years ago. Ever since I can remember, she's gotten so many invites to friend's & family's parties throughout each year, she can barely make it to all of them. She also has cousins & friends her age that she frequents the casinos with. She works PT at a fun job that she likes to keep herself busy, too.

For me, she's the most fun relative I have & no event would be the same w/o her. We just threw her a 70th surprise party, too. If she was ever ill or needed help, we'd all be there. It's not just familial obligation, it's the kind of person she is that makes her so in demand.

I know the circumstances aren't the same for everyone who is CF, but I know lonliness is not the inevitable fate of evey CF person. Hope this helps if you're ever worrying about getting old!