BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why is being childless by choice such a hot topic?

kids ripping in and out of offices...thats annnoying, when i was younger i never had the star stuckedness people have and even when i had my son, in still didnt have it, guess it just wasnt in me, i was just waiting for the crying to start and the diaper changing to begin

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On a CF livejournal community I'm in, a "breeder" is a [censored] parent--hence you will see people labeled as "BNP" (breeder-not-parent) or "PNB" (parent-not-breeder).

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I agree with lucky star. Let me add that people usually start "thumping" the pages of the bible when I mention I don't want children. I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard "be fruitful and multiply" when I mention a childfree life.

The reason being childless by choice is such a hot topic right now, is because the economics of existence is being shoved in our faces. On average, the cost of having a child is $17,660 annually. With the rising cost of fuel, the shrinking of the "middle class", instability of governments on the global stage, the choice to not have children strikes some as too powerful.

The other day, I heard someone reason away the fact that they were not financially ready to have another child with the argument that somehow, it would all just work itself out. No financial planning, just the desire to create a life is what this person's idea of pro-creating came down to. In that instant, I realized that this person, like so many others actually operates on the concept of magical thinking, i.e. "I know we really can't afford to have another child in terms of time, money, or availability of medical insurance, but love is enough."

I contend that when faced with someone who has decided not to have children, this type of person is faced with someone who is not operating on magical thinking, but rather, operating in reality. There is no valid argument against not having $17,660 that you are willing to part with. There is no good argument against: "I just don't want to wait hand and foot on someone." There is no good argument against: "That is not where happiness lies for me."

There is no good argument against someone who thoughtfully and prudently reaches their decision not to have children. On the other hand, the existence of the foster care system, juvenal courts and halls, the countless numbers of abused and neglected children that we don't yet know about...these are all examples of the evidence that points to a whole lot of people not thinking about having and RAISING children.

the only reason why those people start thumbing the pages of the bible is because they know they have no case....CF is a choice and they figure there has to be something in the bible to back them up..but everything happened in the bible..if you said men all men are dogs...these so called christians would find something in there too, to just prove you wrong....lol

I love when people pull out the "if you wait until you can afford a child, you'll never have one."

In the general sense, this is probably true--most people probably can't afford a kid on paper, but a lot do fine anyway. However, it pisses me off when some people trot out that line--you know, the people who are always talking about how they're on the verge of having their heat shut off, or they're all over Freecycle asking for clothes and furniture and etc. etc. for their kids because they can't afford to buy it, or they can't afford to take little Susie to the doctor even though they suspect pneumonia....yet they want another kid. And then when you point out the obvious--"uh, you really can't afford it"--they bring out this line. Er, no.

You are so right Katja. I was thinking about that quote before I read your post. I just love the people that say if you wait until you can afford a child you will never have one. But these are the people (at work for example) who can't afford to chip in $4 for lunch or are calling off and using sick time because they can't afford the gas to get to work. If only people would listen to their common sense!

that quote is very true.....alot do fine but at what expense..not having money left over for themselves or having to use what little bit of money they have for that extra pack of diapers.....