..by just about everyone except husband. I'm 29 years old. Will be 30 this coming February. Hubby will be 35 in April. I've never wanted children. Even if I did, which I don't - I cannot afford children. I am a store manager of a large music chain. I typically work 6 days a week and open to closing most of those days. Hubby and I have been "on our own" for only a little over 3 years now.
We're by no means rich, and we still live paycheck to paycheck trying to make do. We have 2 beautiful cats that I refer to as my "furry children". I, for the first time in my life - am free to do what I want when I want. I spent my childhood raising 3 younger siblings while my "mother" decided she didn't want to be a mom anymore. I had to be an adult at age 8 when my "father" walked out. So in my eyes, I already raised 3 children. Now is my time to live.
Yet no matter where I am, it always comes up. First it was when are you getting engaged, then when are you getting married, now it's when are you having kids. When I tell people I do not want kids - they look at me like I just confessed to some horrible act of crime.
Just today, my normal FedEx driver brings in my shipment. Out of nowhere he begins to badger me about how I don't have children, why I don't have a house instead of an apartment, and what is wrong with me. I nearly broke down into tears.
Later on my mother-in-law stops by the store. Does her usual embarrass the boss type stuff in front of my staff, complete with rude jokes that I hope won't get reported to corporate. I gave her some freebie pencil cases I found in the backroom that was from an old promotion apparently the old boss never bothered to give out. Thought it'd make her happy since she's always babysitting half the town's kids.
Her friend looked at me and said: Well, I guess you'll have plenty of gifts to give the enourmous amount of grandchildren you have! Then they both walked out of my store leaving me there speechless. And yes, she took the stupid pencil cases.
I did a search for child-free and this site's topic came up. Maybe here I can find peace in the fact that I am a mature woman who chooses not to have children. I am not a freak. I'm not going to pop out babies for someone else's pleasure. Hell, when hubby & I were in deep financial difficulties a few months ago - we called to ask if we could do laundry there, just for a couple hours - b/c the laundrymat costs $2 per load. She said no. Gee, thanks. Next time you need the truck to haul something, I'll remember that.
So she's going to help me raise a child? Sure she is.
Then I get the people who look at me and ask if I have children (even though they are stunned that I am married) Yup, that's what the rings are for. I get mistaken for 14-17 years old...a lot. I suppose it'll come in handy later, right now it's downright frustrating. When I say no, I don't have any and don't want any...the looks of disgust and hatred are plentiful.
And this is usually coming from total strangers too, woman shopping in my store, in the supermarket on line...
My husband had a big fight with his brother b/c my "choosing to not have children is putting undue pressure on him to continue the family line." Hubby politely told his brother that when he buys my uterus - then he can decide what to do with it. Yay hubby.
Thanks for listening.
