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I was at a party last night and the topic of kids (as usual) came up. When asked if my husband and I were going to have kids (asked by a total stranger, but that's a whole other post ...), I gave my usual reply that we've decided 'probably not,' that we're very happy with the way our lives are, we have 3 "furry" kids already, etc.

I was happily surprised by the honest reply of the asker: She immediately said "good for you" and enthusiastically admitted to the group that if she had her life to live over again, she is pretty sure she wouldn't have had kids.

She didn't elaborate for her reasons, but I was so proud of her for admitting it in front of this group of women. I also wondered how many others felt the same way but weren't brave enough to speak up.

So ... a salute to all the honest parents out there!

i have also had similar experiences when people ask me about kids. usually people say to me "i don't blame you." or "it is diffiucult when you have kids." i feel that in most cases my decision not to have kids is respected and i appreciate that. in turn i also respect other people who have children although i must say that i really feel for them when i hear about problems with their kids or see parents out and their kids acting up. i just say thank god i don't have to deal with that.
i also enjoy having quiet time and having a clean house.i get upset when my husband leaves his clothes on the chair so i can only imagine what i would do if i had kids.
i don't know about anyone else but this is something i have observed.it seems to me that some women are so worried about having kids someday that they don't enjoy their life now or plan their life around the possibility of kids. i was out with some friends the other day and one of my friend's friends was saying how she wanted to get a different job b/c when she get married and has kids(she has neither yet not even a boyfriend) then she wants to only work part-time or something like that.i'm thinking: how about thinking about your life right now!i mean some people i think become so obsessed with "the idea" of children that they close themselves off to other things and make themselves miserable.
i have a feeling that there are a lot more parents out there who feel the same way as that lady at the party. it's refreshing to see one who is at least publicly honest.
indigo

Living a life of consequence is all about owning your choices. I am CF... I was CF before I was diagnosed with PCOS and irreversible infertility. When asked, I don't say "I can't have kids," I say, "I don't want children." And I take whatever reactions I get as a direct consequence of stating a personal choice... I have my own personal issues with rude, nosy people asking me questions that are none of their business to begin with, but that's not the point.

I'm also fat. I don't diet. I'd rather not exercise beyond what I do at work or for fun. Its part of who I am. I don't spend a lot of time bemoaning the fact that I'm not societally average... I learned to embrace myself as I am, extra curves and all.

My choices work for me. I'm not proud of all of them, and some of them proved to be rather dangerous. I don't really believe in regret, beyond regretting the pain that I accidentally cause people I care about... Every single choice I have made, good or bad, has molded me into the person I am today, and I really (after a lot of soul searching) like the person I am today. But my choices wouldn't work for anyone else. I have friends who are as fulfilled with their fitness routines and their diets as I am without them. The same goes for children, the same goes for any of my life's choices.

I feel for people who regret their choices. I can't imagine being that unhappy with my life. But you're right... Its important to be proud of who you are and the life you've built... And if you're not, then perhaps working toward happiness and pride in your life is something you should do.

Hey Biscuit,

I really liked that site. It was like looking in peoples minds for just a second. Oh, I also love your quote. You a veggie?

Kate

I'm glad you liked it too! I am totally hooked on that site!

And yep, I am veg.. it will be 17 years for me this fall (I'm 36).

So what did the card say???? I saw this post long after the card would've been gone.

Okay, there are a lot of Honest parents who like having kids. Why are we even concentrating on Parents??? and why always so badly. Is there anyone else here that is like me, Not for putting down parents but for concentrating on My OWN life, and why we are child-free and not why its so baaad to have kids

I am with New York...they seem to be in the same boat as I am.