BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Vasectomies

Before I joined this forum, I was listening to the radio one day, and they started mentioning an article about young guys getting vasectomies and how doctors are reluctant to perform them because the guys are so young they look like they're doing it to be sexually free and avoid pregnancy at the same time.

That concerns me as someone who knows for sure he doesn't want to be a parent. For anyone with knowledge and experience, I have some questions I'm hoping you can answer.

1. What is generally the minimum age for a doctor to perform a vasectomy without being too reluctant?
2. How often are vasectomies done on men who have no kids and are sure they don't want any?
3. Do doctors feel reluctant to perform vasectomies because they themselves have kids or because it's a hassle to reverse it if the guy changes his mind?

I just hope I can be sterilized eventually. Ideally, about a year before the honeymoon... <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'm not child-free, but my husband DID have a vasectomy, and did have to go thru some counseling, so I'll try to answer. He was 30 when he had his, they didn't give him much hassle because this was our 3rd child, but they did want to make certain because this was his only biological child (the other 2 were from my previous marriage). He informed them 3 were more than enough!

It's pretty much the same guidelines as for women. They don't like doing it before mid 30's (sometimes older for guys since they don't have the clock on them that women do), they are more comfortable performing one on a guy who is already married and has thoroughly discussed the situation w/ his wife than on a single guy, (because it's a big problem 5 yrs into the marriage when her biological clock starts ringing and he's blank).

The reversal these days is MUCH more difficult than in the past, even though there is better technology to repair the vas deferens. Used to, the vas was cut and tied, sutured or clipped off on either side of the cut. The problem was this could sometimes spontaneously repair itself if not tied off sufficiently. Now they actually take out a portion of the vas deferens, and leave a gap, then they suture or cauterize the two ends, making it much more difficult for the ends to accidentally meet back up and repair. Of course it also makes it very difficult for them to intentionally meet back up and repair, too. <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Most insurance companies will not pay for a reversal of a vasectomy, and they don't always work. So that's why so many urologists are reluctant to perform them on young, single men.

I am wondering the same thing. I'm 28, DH is 29 and after 5 years of trying, we've decided to put an end to the roller coaster permanently. (I view it as "Thank G-d we're barren!")

I don't think it's limited to vasectomies only. I am having a heck of a time finding a doctor who will perform a tubal. The only reason I'm looking for a tubal and not forcing a V on him is in the unlikely event we divorce. He may want kids with his new wife, but I know I will NOT want kids if I remarry.

Our insurance will not cover the whole cost of either operation, which I think is absolute bull honky. :roll: Why they'll cover $10K for pre-natal and aftercare, but not $3K for sterilization is beyond me and a completely different soapbox...

~jen

It's that magical 3-0 number. For some reason they seem to think being in your 30s makes you wiser than your 20s (2 years whoopee!)

Also the fact that sterilization is elective and pregnancy (once you become pregnant that is) is not, probably has something to do with the coverage. If the insurance co. doesn't take care of a pregnant woman, soooo many things can go wrong that THEY would then be liable for.

My man got his vasectomy, at age 24, in October. They wanted him to go through months of counseling first but he talked them out of it.

There is no proof to whether a man has kids or not so he lied. His first appointment was in September, when he told them that he already had 2 with a third on the way. He told them he was in "the system" (as in welfare) and wanted out and couldn't do that if he had more kids. After that they were more than willing to do it without hesitation. There is a 30 day waiting period in case a man changes his mind, so he got snipped in October.

His vasectomy was the best choice for us for birth control and we have never regretted it. Sometimes we talk about how wonderful sex is due to the piece of mind in knowing we never have to worry about pregnancy.

Sometimes I wonder if the expectation to breed will EVER end!
I was 40, and Catdaddy was 48 when we got married. Shortly thereafter, we decided that he would get snipped. Our health plan at the time was an HMO, which meant that he had to get a referral to a urologist from his primary care physician.

At first, this doctor would not give the referral! This addresses Happy CF Guy's question #3. This was a younger guy, who has a lot of kids...he was forever having his nurse cancel Catdaddy's appointments due to his wife's pregnancy/.delivery/whatever. He did not want to give the referral because he was so sure that Catdaddy would *change his mind* and want to know the hoys of fatherhood.

Yeah, right. As if we want to be putting a kid through college when we should be retiring.

But we were persistent, and Catdaddy finally did get the referral. The snip was done, and we're happy.

So, I would say that age probably doesn't matter, especially if you are CF They always think you will change your mind someday. Look at guys like Tony Randall...he fathered a kid when he was 80, and then he croaked. But just because the goods still work, doesn't men it's always a good idea to breed.

I partly blame older celebrities who breed, both male and female, for the never-ending *you'll change your mind* [censored]. This makes it hard for us older CF folks to be taken seriously when we want snippage. You'd think that you'd be safe from this nonsense when you're over 40, but not anymore.

Sterilization is a human right. This human right was laid down by the United Nations Human Rights Committee in General Comment 28: Equality of Rights Between Men and Women (art. 3) (68e Sess, 2000) in compilation of General Comments and General Recommendations by Human Rights Treaty Bodies, at 168, U.N. Doc. HRI/GEN/1/Rev. 5. The full text of this document may be downloaded by clicking on this link: http://www.unhchr.ch/tbs/doc.nsf/(Symbol)/13b02776122d4838802568b900360e80?Opendocument. Article 20 of this document says:

States parties must provide information to enable the Committee to assess the effect of any laws and practices that may interfere with women's right to enjoy privacy and other rights protected by article 17 on the basis of equality with men. An example of such interference arises where the sexual life of a woman is taken into consideration in deciding the extent of her legal rights and protections, including protection against rape. Another area where States may fail to respect women's privacy relates to their reproductive functions, for example, where there is a requirement for the husband's authorization to make a decision in regard to sterilization; where general requirements are imposed for the sterilization of women, such as having a certain number of children or being of a certain age, or where States impose a legal duty upon doctors and other health personnel to report cases of women who have undergone abortion. In these instances, other rights in the Covenant, such as those of articles 6 and 7, might also be at stake. Women's privacy may also be interfered with by private actors, such as employers who request a pregnancy test before hiring a woman. States parties should report on any laws and public or private actions that interfere with the equal enjoyment by women of the rights under article 17, and on the measures taken to eliminate such interference and to afford women protection from any such interference.

(from: General Comment No. 28: Equality of rights between men and women (article 3) : . 29/03/2000.
CCPR/C/21/Rev.1/Add.10, General Comment No. 28. (General Comments) )

Although I think they should have been more specific about the rights of men as men and women are equal, this article says that EVERYBODY (i.e. men and women in UN member states) has the RIGHT to undergo a vasectomy/tubal.

I was 27 when I received my tubal.

After thinking about it, I think the best way for me to get a vasectomy when I'm around 30 and about to be married is to REALLY convince the doctor. The following is a way I might be able to convince the doctor.

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I am aware that the procedure I am asking for is permanent and that attempts to reverse it may only bring back some fertility, but not completely restore it. I am also aware that the typical candidate is a male in his 30s or 40s who is married, has at least one child, and does not want any more.

Yes, I am a man who does not want children, and yes, I know that I'm younger than the age that is considered to be "wise." However, please understand I thought about is thoroughly, and I've thought about it for the past several years, not in a much shorter amount of time.

I know there are many adults who get married and have children. That's their choice. And I know that society considers this typical to the point where it's even expected in everyone. However, I do not believe it should be imposed on everyone. I'm sure, if you look around, you know that there are some married couples without children. They are the ones who get married and want to spend the rest of their lives together without children and do the things they like to do. I've thought about it, and I've decided that's the kind of lifestyle I like.

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Anything else I could add just in case? <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My advice is to be honest. Don't lie and say you have kids. We need more people to take a stand and tell these Drs that the CF are serious. DH got his Vas two months ago. We're 28. We went in prepared to fight for our case and came out "disappointed." We didn't need to explain anything! He said "as long as you know what you want I'm ok with that." We were so happy! We're not real young, but being CF and under 30 sometimes Drs will hesitate. Do your researcha nd go in ready to tell them how you feel. That's all you really need to do. If the Dr says no, then tell him you'll just go to someone who will say yes. It is your right to get a Vas as long as you are 21 years old. Just remember that. Quote NYCs post if you need to!

There are many guys on another board I go to who had vas young (meaning ages 23-25) It is possible to do it young. Call around and talk to local urologists now. Why wait if you're sure?