BellaOnline Forums Travel and Culture Polish Culture dating a divorced Polish man

I am a Chinese lady from China and dating with a divorced Polish man, who is working in China now. But there are some concerns about his marital status. He said he was divorced more than a year ago. But I can still see the pictures of his daughter, his wife and his wedding in his wallet. I am really concerned about his maritial status because of this.

I don't want to be hurt by a false man.

Another concern is that, he told me that he had a chaotic life in the past. He was illoyal to his wife for many times and kept several women at the same time while he was married.

All the above-mentioned concens worried me a lot in dating this Polish man.

But I can feel that I really love him. So, I really want to find out

1. whether he is lying about his marital status or not.
2. whether he is really single now and divorced his wife more than a year

Could any one of you please point me to the rigth direction about how to check out his marital status?

And....is it rare for Polish people to date several women at the same time?

His daughter is also a concern for me. He had never told me actively that he has a daughter until I found it out myself. I feel quite difficult to accept his daughter from my Chinese culture. How about in Polish culture, is it more acceptable? Also, I am confused that why he was not honest about this?

Confused and lost,
Karen

Karen,

did you read the article:
Poles and Exotic Beauty Syndrome
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art33479.asp


it is not usual in Poland to date several women while being married to one. This happen unfortunately in every culture. But you are right to be concerned in this aspect. If this man is travelling abroad a lot - here is probably the problem. He may be used to flirt and have temporary relationships with many women withough any real commitment.

Frankly - I would say, if he has a photo of his daughter and his wife in his purse - this is actually a positive aspect of him but you are right to be concerned that this may be a sign that he is not really divorced.

The easiest thing to check - do you know any of his friends? Maybe you can check whether he is divorced or married even through the Polish embassy. He cannot marry another women without being divorced and divorce takes a long time in Poland.

***I feel quite difficult to accept his daughter from my Chinese culture. ***
this suprises me. There are so many Chinese girls adopted in the USA and other countries why it would be difficult for you to accept his daughter?

Hi JagaBella,

Thanks for ur kind reply.

So, do you mean that I can check the Polish embassy in China? Is this possible? Can they check it for me?

many thanks, Karen

I checked the Polish embassy in China. They refused to answer my enquiry about whether my Polish is single or not. They said this enquiry invades other people's privacy thus against the law. No one from the government in China nor in Poland will answer this question. So....what should I do now to verify his words?

more, is it common to get divorced in Poland now? How long does it take for a couple to <img src="/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />divorce?


confused and powerless, Karen

I think, if the guy has old polish ID, it should be written there that he is divorced. So check out his ID.
Does he live in Poland with his ex-wife? You can phone an information about telephone numbers, and ask for his wife's telephone number. If he has the same number - they are living with each other... Does he any friends there? If he does - ask them...

Hi Karen - if you're having to contact his embassy to verify stuff that you think he might not be telling you then maybe you're in the wrong relationship....

I agree with you raytan..

i asked my boyfriend face to face right after I had found the picture of his daughter, pictures of wife and wedding. he said even though he was divorced, he could not cut everything, because they were still important for him. This confused me much.

i understand why he's still keeping his daughter's picture, but if he's divorced, why he is still keeping his wife and wedding pictures? Especially, he said that he did not love her enough and this had led to his illoyalities during his marriage, which broke the marriage?

I am very confused. shall i raise my concerns to him face to face again? but i am afraid that this seems to be annoying.

karen

Karen - I suggest you just find a new person. It can't be worth all this foolishness to keep trying to build a relationship from nothing with this man.

Karen,
If this person was remotely in love with you, he would have allayed your fears a long time ago.

It stands to reason, if there was anything that you had a hard time accepting, then he should have 'bent over backwards' to reassure you and prove to you his sincerity.