BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids List of Reasons Not to Have Children

Again: I CANNOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO STAYS AT HOME AND LETS A MAN TAKE CARE OF HER.

It doesn't mean that I am going to insult her or criticize her to her face, but I will never have respect for her. This is *my opinion* and no one has to agree with me although I know MANY who do.

If it is the stay at home parents job to clean and care for the kid(s) it means the working parent doesn't have to, right. She (since most stay at home parents are the mom) keeps the house clean and raises and disciplines the children. When he comes home from work he can relax and nothing more is expected of him. He can play with the children of course but if he has to help take care of them than she is not living up to her duties.

Oh, but wait. He was having an affair and now the marriage is over. She is stuck with no education, no work experience, and two kids to raise. She is awarded alimony and child support but that is not enough to pay the bills. Sucks for her.

Sorry, I have too much self respect, first of all to even depend on another for my support, but even more so to allow the possibility for something like that to happen to me. Of course it is not a possibility for me because I am not having kids but I think you get my point.

I agree with you, Kat. I also would not feel comfortable being out of the workforce for so long that you lose your skills. I have a lot of pride in being independent and self-sufficient. I think too often, when a woman is a stay-at-home mother, she has a parent/child relationship with her husband because the husband works and will control the money. I have seen where the husband will hand out the money to his wife, like the wife is getting an allowance. This is not always the case, but it is not a situation I would want to be in.

Me either! My husband actually controlling the money? YIKES! He sent two mortgage payments by mistake this month- don't get me started! Also- while the independence thing is great- I also happen to love buying stuff- stuff for me and only me to enjoy- frivilous, overpriced, fun stuff! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Isn't it the best life ever? I have so much fun truly living! Life is too short not to!

Another reason to not have children is that you have to explain everything the child wants to know, ESPECIALLY when bad things happen. And it's hard for the kid to grow up and realize what the world is REALLY like.

I have Porphyria, IF I survived the pregnancy, the baby would have a 50% chance of also having it.
My husband is not prepared in anyway to have a child so it would be entirely my responsibilty and I am disabled.
I am now 42.
We don't have the money or the means to ever get the money to raise a child.
I do not feel this planet or this society will be liveable in another 30 years--I can't do that to a child.
I do not see any evidence that humanity is progressing on an individual basis--I see ADD/ADHD, "indigo children", Autism, and all sorts of previously unheard of afflictions, lack of spiritual balance-extremism, fragility in the eco-systems and climate and population and natural resources.
I do not NEED to have a child to be fulfilled. I am already fulfilled.
And probably the single most important consideration that helped me decide unequivocally NOT to have children---no way would the in-laws ever get near any child of mine over my dead body.
RavynG

For me, I am not finished with my own development, even though I am 30 (almost 31 in a few days). I will be going back to school full time and starting a new career after that. I am 100% into developing my career and being there for my husband and our furry child our puppy dog who is a little over a year old now and that is enough! Actually to add, it is probably b/c we don't have kids that we can afford to send me back to school!

Here's another reason not to have kids.

Imagine all the things you have ever learned in life from your parents with regards to daily living plus surviving in the real world. Now imagine having to relive that whole learning process when you have to teach YOUR kid all of these same things, and you worry that something might go wrong with the kid's development. Plus, you would complain that you won't have time for yourself.

Basically, I'm happy to have survived into adulthood, and I don't want a kid that would force me to relive the challenging process of growing up.

Anyone else agree?

I will also never understand the blind circle of having children. People have kids, and try hard to develop their talents, special skills and abilities, send them to universities and so, and after they turn 20 years of age or so, they are starting to have kids and end up to �waste� all that time raising families.

I just can't imagine having so much of my life/personality/identity revolve around another person, to the point that I'm hardly more than "so-and-so's mom" and don't have time for myself.

I mean, yes, any relationship will require bending of one's life to some point, but I don't have to wipe my partner's behind, soothe him every give minutes because he stubbed his toe and started bawling uncontrollably, try to teach him morals (usually...sure wish he'd learn to say "excuse me" and "please" more though), watch him every second to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or do something wrong, put him through school, etc. etc. etc...basically have him hang onto me like a parasite for 18+ years, only to then leave and practically forget I ever existed.

LOL, I was thinking about embryo like a parasite, but this is also good :-)