Thank you for your advice and interest, and especially for keeping us in your prayers, (I'm a STRONG bellever in the power of prayer!) I agree that it's gonna take something drastic. Another problem is he comes from a family that was able to spoil him to the point of rotteness. (And they continue this still) He hasn't had to work for anything ever. So, he doesn't understand that you have to WORK for a good marriage, or WORK to be a good parent etc... he excepts to just be givin it like everything else in his life. He is also under the misconception that you ALWAYS get another chance, (another thing I blame on his family) He's taken money from his parents because he's blown all ours on b.s. stuff, (he likes customizing cars.. which would be fine if he would ever SALE any of them that he puts SO MUCH MONEY into, instead he "collects" them. He is also much more into shopping, (be it at the mall or on the internet) than anyone I have ever known. Anyway, he gets us in binds financally because of his spending habits and borrows money to get out of our messes. They give it to him and say okay, that's it.. no more.. only to do it over again next time he asks. So I think he feels that no matter how bad he is, or how mean he talks to me, he will always have an opportunity to make it right. (does that make sense?) A friend told me once, "you can't change what you tolerate" I'm trying to stop tolerating.