my husband and i recently seperated after nearly 18 years of marriage, and 20 years together. i've always felt like a single parent in that he was never, ever, available to us emotionaly, or financially (he has an aversion to work). and to be honest, his living some where else is not much different than what we had before, accept we dont have to walk around on egg shells around dad so he doesnt roll into one of his juvinile tirades (although he was never physically abusive to any of us, thank God, mental and emotional abuse and neglect are just as devestating, and do just as much damage), and we don't have to watch him drink himself stupid while playing on the computer every night.
we havent discussed divorce yet, but i feel its just a matter of time. i will NO LONGER live with a person whom i do not feel values me, i will NO LONGER live with less than i think i deserve, to try and make some one else happy. i've waisted most of my life, trying to make some one else happy. well, anyway...that's how i became a single parent. being alone takes getting used to, sometimes i still cry at night. but all in all, i'm much happier, and so are my kids. their dad is now working, started a roofing business, lives alone, stopped drinking, and is flourishing. i'm very happy for him, i want him to be happy, and i want my kids to be happy. but as far as i'm concerned our marriage is over. i spent 20 years waiting for him to "come around", no more waiting. i'd rather be alone than spend the next 20 or 30 years with out what i need from a relationship. **whew** !