BellaOnline Forums Family Step Parenting Stepparents unappreciated

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I think for the most part "stepparents" are unappreciated because they have false expectations. I also feel that those expectations are coming from too many people who watch the Brady Bunch. Sounds goofy, but I really think that show has ingrained an image on society as to what blended families should be like...which is completely unrealistic.
"Stepparents" should never assume the reaponsibilty of authority figure over their new spouses child(ern). They should never criticize or discipline the others child(ern).
That should be done by their actual bioparent(s) & their main role should be considered of nothing more than a really good friend.

I think that being a Stepparent i.s hard. I know a few and there are times that the kids can cause problems in the family

I am a stepmom to 2 grown kids. We had our problems in the beginning (they were very young) but they are just like my natural born children. If you are thinking only about appreciation then you are going to be disappointed. Even natural born children don't appreciate you.

I have a friend with a stepson and they had to finally kick him out to his moms. The only other alternative was military school and that was way to expensive.

I love it. You are so right.
Good advice I received about being a step parent was to be a friend and an advocate, but forget about ever really being "parent". In our case, the boys' mom has been abusive, negligent (moved away and never calls let alone sees them). The boys are 17 and 19 now and haven't lived with her for over 5 years and haven't seen her in over three years . They have moved from being blindly loyal to their mom, which although not really deserved, is surely expected and natural, to being sadly realistic about her ability to mother them well. I know though, that even though I have loved these boys and nurtured them in every healthy way, when it comes to crunch time, I am still Trish, not mom and never will be. Respected yes, authority, no.

Someone above mentioned that stepparents should only hope to be just really good friends. That is all my stepmom is to me and it breaks my heart. I want her to treat me like I'm her biological daughter. It is great being friends with her but I want more...She has always played it careful with her stepkids..not wnating to step on toes, but son of a gun I want my toes stepped on.

Thats alright, I love her for eternity!

What a special stepdaughter you are indeed.I hope your Step mum knows how lucky she is...

OK, a couple months later however I have to say my "stepdad" is my DAD. He is the only one I have memories of and I adore him. I met my "real" dad just before I got married and we got along fine, he wanted me to call him dad before he died, his only wish... I couldn't do it... I have a dad. I also gained a good friend, but just couldn't call him dad.

I do think we have to think about how hard it is on the kids to have stepparents.