BellaOnline Forums Travel and Culture African-American Culture The problem with the black man!!!!

I'm sure that we have all been through it, a brother that looks good, says the right things, great in bed, but your not the only one that he's giving his services to.

I have just registered my partners number on www.9in10.com, he started to come home late and not answer his phone, the usual tom fool behaviour. I read about ths site catching out cheats, some 600,000+ of them in one month. Has anyone ever used the site. What do you think?

Do you think its might be the answer to the problem with black men??????????

Don't over generalize.

At Lake Merrit when I moved there I was overjoyed at all the lovelies in running clothes being healthy jogging. Then I broke my brain thinking: "If I 'rap' to her, she'll think I rap to all the cuties.. and if she listens, I'll think she listens to all the dogs..." and I gave up!

You might be completely right Pamela, but my two cents is BE CAREFUL THE ENERGY YOU PUT OUT, it comes back to you! Why do you call it "his services" anyway? Are you seeing him as a service? I would think, hope, that honesty is high on your list of qualifications, and there are easy ways to check yourself before you wreck yourself - "partners" means you have multiple, you meant "partner's" I suppose?

Why not have loving conversation with your "servicer" (and don't use that term sistah!) about how 2 people make a 1 on 1, that's all we need, committed, deep in love, completely fulfilling, faithful relationship work?

I think THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THE BLACK MAN is his being stereotyped with simple teenage mentality labels, forced into roles imposed by small thinking people

Maybe what you are talking about is the problem with good looking, right-thing-saying, great-in-bed men...

Love peace and chicken grease, Teo <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I completely agree with Teo. Just because you may have found someone who doesn't treat you right or whatever, you can't say that all black men are like that. And, on that same note, I'm sure there are white, asian, and indian men doing the same thing. And if you know that he is giving his so called services to others, then why do you need a website to prove it to you? You can move on without all of the drama.

Are we to assume by your post that you feel ALL black men are a problem?

Sorry for your relationship troubles, however I must say that if your husband/man is having relationships with other women then I would be very careful to say the least. With AIDS/HIV, and other STD's this could be a serious health issue.
My feelings have always been that if a man is seeing other women then he is not YOUR man. I would never go so far as to place his name/number or anything else about him on any site.
Why not have an honest talk with him?
Let him know that you will not tolerate his seeing other women. If is not willing to stop, and he does not show you that he vaules your relationship with him, then move on!
Good luck!

If you man is cheating, the problem is no where but with you.
YOU tolerate it. IF you have to register his phone number to 'Catch" him, its crazy. You sit down and talk and find out what is going on with him. If it doesnt make sense to you, then you can leave or stay. Enough with people blaming others for their unhappiness!

I'm very careful not to clump one bad apple's behavior into saying that the whole bunch is rotten. I think there is a problem where we often "enable" bad behavior, maybe as a way to seek compassion & support by being a "victim". I think that when we sit back & do nothing, we have nobody but to blame but self!

I was once in an abusive relationship/marriage for 5 yrs until I got tired of being a "victim" and took myself out of the situation. By staying in it all that time, I was enabling this man to do what he did. It was when I took that "power" away from him, that I was truely FREE.

If your man is cheating....just let him go! Life is too short to pine after a person that apparently does not respect you.....

Good Luck!

I couldn't agree more.